In All Honesty, I'm Worried

from the very beginning, i've been preparing myself for a busier-than-before year.  this doesn't only concern my life as a student. so, don't get me wrong by narrowing it that way.  :)

to start...the core subjects that i'm currently taking are quite heavy in terms of workloads and weekly in-class learning hours.  to add to that, i'm also taking not one, but two elective subjects.  berani mati, nak?!  LOL  the reason for my decision to take up that many subjects this semester is to try to make the upcoming semesters free from subjects that aren't my core subjects.  typically, the difficulty level gets higher every semester.  i'm preparing myself for that too.

what's bugging me is the exhaustion that i often feel on weekdays when there are classes to attend.  it's normal to feel tired when you have to drive to and fro but this time, it seems like i'm even more tired that the previous semesters.  do you get what i mean?  it's not just physical exhaustion, but also mental exhaustion.  something seems to be bothering me.  the morning traffic jams might be one of the contributing causes.  i'm kind of used to  the traffic jams but the journey seems to be 1.5 times longer than before.  perhaps it's the route that i'm using that makes it longer.  i'm using a different route this semester for a valid reason.  :)  it's a logical route considering where i need to go to on my way to campus, but overall, it's actually a little further than what i'm used to.  i'm not sure if i can go on with it till whenever, though.  :/  you see, my house is considered a little far from the main road.  lorong (Stapok) selatan 11c2 oi~  dah la selatan bertentangan ngan utara, nombor 11, kakya c, sik cukup 11c, mok gik 11c2!  it's quite hidden for those who are not used to the area.  anyway...i've made a conclusion that i hate stopping at traffic lights (take note of the plural form.) more than roundabouts.  seriously.  going back home from campus is still okay but going to campus in the morning is a sore in the neck.  i've been late quite many times.  gomen ne, sensei to tomodachi.  shouganai kara.  :(  nasib bait lecturer setakat tok bait2...understanding (or just patient, probably).  i'm afraid that i might not be as lucky next semester.  who knows?

now, you would think that if the long journey is a problem, why don't i just depart earlier from home, right?  here's my answer to that.  every morning when i need to attend classes, i wake up about one and a half hour, if not two hours, before i depart from home.  iboh mok suruh bangun awal gik dari ya!  cukup la ya.  i need to wait for my turn to use the bathroom.  i'm the last one to have my shower.  the others need to depart earlier than me.  aih...apa gik semester depan ow...semua orang sesi pagi dah.  adoh..  when i'm ready, i'll then be on my way.  when you actually have to go through my routine, you'll know how it really feels like from my point of view.  bila pagi2 dah sikda mood gara2 mala jak stop2 kat jalan, ngan kadang2 ada kreta di depan nok agak slow (tapi sik boleh nak nganok sidak juak la.  berhati2 di jalan raya bah.  nang bena ya.), sampei jak kampus, kurang dah semangat mok dengar lecture.  nok polah gik ada sikit semangat ya pun sebab pikir mok balit lekak habis kelas untuk ari ya.  tambah gik mun kelas sampei petang.  mengalahkan orang keja kadang2.  haha..

so, it's kind of worrying me that i sometimes don't revise what i've learnt when i'm back home, particularly on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, so far.  i can't just rely on the other days, right?  makin tua kali dirik tok.  ya makin lelah.  tambah gik makin susah subjek sem tok.  masa kat jalan raya jak pun makin panjang.  bersyukur la ada hari nok sikda kelas dalam seminggu ya.

God, help me to be stronger and more patient each day.  let me find the best possible solution that will benefit not only me, but the people around me too.  bingung kadang2.  tapi apa2 pun, cuba cool jak ow.