It's funny how one occurrence can make the rest of the initially okay day become disheartening. You'd say that it's the circle of life and everyone faces it sooner or later. I know that. Still, I feel so down right now. The smiles and laughter I had in class earlier today are just by gones now. At least, that's how it seems to me for the rest of this unfortunate day. ㅠㅠ I'm so sad right now. It isn't related to my own family or relatives or friends but the person involved is very dear to me.
You know how much of a BEAST's fan I am, right? That's my #1 group. Even though I love all members so much, I have a favourite member and it's Jang Hyun Seung. And it's his father who passed away today. He had a heart attack.
According to reports, the whole Jang family was taken aback by the sudden passing because the father was healthy and no symptoms were shown. It was said that Seungie (the nickname I affectionately call Hyun Seung as) was in the state of shock. The rest of BEAST members cancelled their scheduled activities for the day to join in the mourning. Being an idol singer who lives with his group members and not his family, Seungie hadn't been seeing his father so often. Plus, he's been extremely busy with work like the other members. One of the occasional meetings between Father Jang and Son Jang that fans were aware of was when BEAST's fathers made a surprise appearance on a talk show that BEAST guested on. I remember thinking that Seungie looks like his father. Even my dad saw them and agreed. I also thought that Father Jang was quite a good dancer after seeing the fathers dance to a BEAST's song during the show. Ah! The sad feeling is coming back to me! ㅠㅠ I'm really worried. It's not that I don't believe in Seungie's willpower and perseverance. In fact, I'm confident of how persevering he can be. But having to cope with a family member's death, especially a father's, is not even close to easy no matter how you look at it. Now, Seungie has to continue to persevere and move on with his mother and younger sister. BEAST is getting busier as a sought-after group of singers. I don't want Seungie to feel overwhelmed. Just be strong and stronger, Seungie! ㅜㅜ
I got the news once I got back from campus. As I was entering the car while still at campus, I received a news notification. I could only read part of the title preview that read something like "BEAST cancels activities after Jang...". I knew it was about Hyun Seung because that'a his family name but I couldn't read the rest of the news yet at that time. I was quite in a rush to go back because the weather was turning dark all of a sudden. It was sunny earlier on. In the middle of my journey back home, it rained heavily. Water puddles on the road are always a challenge when driving in the rain, especially for a driver like me who doesn't like to go slow for too long. Impaired view is another. Of course, extra care needs to be taken since the road is slippery.
When I reached home, I checked the related news and my jaw just dropped. "...Jang Hyun Seung's father passed away.." ㅠㅠㅠㅠ I don't personally know him even though I'd always wanted to meet him. However, I felt really sad. I told my family members about it. They were surprised too. Mom tried to make it sound okay by saying that everyone will someday have to deal with such a thing. Yes, mom. But it's still sad. ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
I didn't even feel like updating MYBTOB with new pictures of BTOB (BEAST's junior group) on Mnet M! Countdown. The group was having their 'Wow' performance on that music show as part of their promotional activity. There were a number of adorable and eye-candy pictures but I only posted one, which was a group picture, on MYBTOB page. I live-streamed to watch BTOB's performance. I was so proud of them but no voice or shriek of cheering could come out of me. I just smiled for a while because BTOB did awesome as expected.
God, pour Your love and grace upon the Jang family and the people around them. May Jang 아바님 rest in peace. Everyone, be strong!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
On 승이 Day
Yesterday, September 3rd, was 장현승's birthday. We were born in the same year, so he's only a month and 10 days older than me. He used to have a Twitter account but it was deleted some time ago. So, fans just wished him happy birthday through the other BEAST members or CUBE.
I had to be on my way to my university campus to get several things done for the new semester. To tell you the truth, I never liked this part of being a university student because it can get really troublesome and frustrating sometimes. But it's necessary, so just suck it up.
My head feels 'hanged' since I haven't properly slept yet and it's almost 6.00AM right now. So, I'll end this post soon. Come to think of it, some people have to stay up as part of their jobs. Artists are examples of this. In fact just a day ago, BEAST completed their 'Midnight' Japanese MV filming at around this time. I know they must have felt exhausted. Even 요섭, BEAST's main vocalist, tweeted about it. He mentioned that 막내 동운 was considerate enough to volunteer as the first and last one to shoot his parts. He's so dependable. They're working really hard. And they're the perfect definition of perseverance. If you know what they had gone through as well as how tough some days can be for them, you'll understand what I'm trying to say. That's why I'm such a fan and I always try to contribute in the supportive role of a fan. Plus, they're good at what they're doing.
Oh, that's right! BTOB will have its comeback this month! Yay! That's what Papa Hong stated. I'm so looking forward to it. Their talents are no joke and I want more people to see them perform their best.
Alright, have good days ahead!
I had to be on my way to my university campus to get several things done for the new semester. To tell you the truth, I never liked this part of being a university student because it can get really troublesome and frustrating sometimes. But it's necessary, so just suck it up.
MYB2UTY gave a few Raya envelopes as free gifts for preordering 'Midnight Sun' album.
I made use of the envelopes to keep the cash that I had to bring with me to pay for my fee.
I was then on my way to campus after two months not going there.
As usual, I brought CDs with me for entertainment while driving.
This time, they were BEAST's 'Midnight Sun' and BTOB's 'Born to Beat' Asia Special Edition.
Woohoo...the CUBE boys~~
So, I arrived at the campus. I had to first pay for my semester fee at the Finance Unit.
It's located on the left side of the ground floor of the building in this picture below.
There weren't many students at the time I arrived.
Thank God! So I didn't have to wait too long for my turn.
For those who have never been to Universiti Malaysia Sarawak (UNIMAS),
let me tell you that the landscape is pretty eye-catching.
Plain water was given to me after I answered a survey by the management(?).
At first, I thought of stopping by at a mall or a shop to buy things but I headed home instead.
I was starting to feel tired as I hadn't slept yet.
My head feels 'hanged' since I haven't properly slept yet and it's almost 6.00AM right now. So, I'll end this post soon. Come to think of it, some people have to stay up as part of their jobs. Artists are examples of this. In fact just a day ago, BEAST completed their 'Midnight' Japanese MV filming at around this time. I know they must have felt exhausted. Even 요섭, BEAST's main vocalist, tweeted about it. He mentioned that 막내 동운 was considerate enough to volunteer as the first and last one to shoot his parts. He's so dependable. They're working really hard. And they're the perfect definition of perseverance. If you know what they had gone through as well as how tough some days can be for them, you'll understand what I'm trying to say. That's why I'm such a fan and I always try to contribute in the supportive role of a fan. Plus, they're good at what they're doing.
Oh, that's right! BTOB will have its comeback this month! Yay! That's what Papa Hong stated. I'm so looking forward to it. Their talents are no joke and I want more people to see them perform their best.
Alright, have good days ahead!
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Time to Step it Up. For Real!
Woah...it's becoming more and more real! I have only one year left before earning my bachelor degree! Hopefully, things will go well and I'll get to graduate as originally planned. I kind of gave myself a scare a few times before when thoughts that are similar to "What if I get tired of studying before I even get to graduate?" lingered in my mind. They're just thoughts, though. And they came several times only when I felt very very tired after sleepless nights due to assignments or revisions. I used to be very studious when I was younger. I'm thankful to God for giving me a good enough brain and willpower to have interest in academics since young because I believe that early stage education is crucial. But then again, I also believe that learning is a lifelong process. We never stop learning about so many things as long as we live. That's a good thing, definitely, because it keeps our minds sharp and functional.
It's getting more nerve-wrecking for me now that I'll be in my final year. It's not just the academics. Yes, academics is indubitably a vital portion but that alone is not enough if I want my days to be perpetually fruitful. This is about my future, after all. I don't always like to be all serious about things but it's necessary sometimes, right? Just don't add unnecessary stress. Stressful situations will come and go. We just need to be strong when they come and loosen up when they go away. Go with the flow, as some would say.
Alright, so the final year in university is probably the most crucial for everyone, right? True enough, there are some things that must not be taken lightly. I haven't gone through my final year yet but I have some ideas how it's going to be like. It won't be all glittery and glamorous (although I think that senior students deserve some of that >.<) because of these reasons:
1) We have two semesters left to either maintain or improve our cumulative grade point average (CGPA).
2) We need to give our best effort in completing our final year project (FYP).
3) We are required to go through an internship for a few months prior to our graduation ceremony.
4) We should be envisioning more vividly where we want ourselves to be as career individuals.
5) Let's face it. We've got to think about settling down and starting a family sooner or later. [If mom reads this, she'll nag something like "People these days are getting more modern and career-focus. You can think about getting married when you're over 30." Okay mom! I get that. I'm just listing out the things that we're getting closer to as we get another year older. It's not like I'm planning to get married right after I graduate.Unless 승이 puts aside his celebrity status and suddenly proposes. But do I have to be 30? I mean, I know I look younger than my age but....really?]
OMG I feel like a real adult! That's just....a little weird. A little.
Alright, I'll write out my elaborations on the five items above.
Semester by semester, I've been busting my butt off (*Not trying to sound inappropriate here by using a word that refers to a particular body part. It's a metaphor, okay? I know you'd get it.*) to get worthwhile results. Let me admit this - I could have done better. But I'm grateful that I didn't do so badly. Plus, I have this personal issue with perfection where perfection freaks me out a little bit, so a perfect set of grades might not suit me well. LOL.. I feel like I've put on mediocre effort a few times before. *Sigh* Frankly, my result for the 4th semester is the worst by far. >.< I promise to be more disciplined and motivated, okay? God, grant me patience and wisdom, alright? It's only going to get tougher but as the saying goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going." Very true.
Oh, FYP! I know it was created for the sake of the students but I would be lying if I said that it's not a burden at all. Just like in examinations or assignments, I don't like it when I get mediocre results. If I plan to do well, I should go all the way. Let's all do that! So...for my FYP, I had been thinking since the beginning of last semester. If possible, I would rather do a topic that's a little unconventional than typical Finance topics but it has to still be related to my major. That's just how I am. If there's a way to be different (in a good way), why not? Plus, I want to do something that's quite close to my own likings. Therefore, my proposed FYP topic is about Korean pop culture! And since Finance is my major, I chose to relate it to stock performances. Truthfully, I have some doubts every now and then on whether or not I'll be able to pull it off. It's not easy to make certain people get the significance of your own ideas and beliefs, you see. But this is part of it. If there are people who are skeptical about what you're doing, stand by what you believe in and try your best to convince them. Just try and try. That will make your experience so much more meaningful.
Now.....I also need to think about internship. It's one of the requirements in order for us to successfully complete our degree but I don't want my internship to be just an internship. I can't predict how it's going to be but I want to somehow enjoy it, or part of it. Well, I'm the kind of person who can be a little bit of everything, so it might be harder for me to see what really clicks with me. Therefore, I need to wisely choose from the options that I have and stick through it once I've made my decision. This is another thing that makes me feel a little anxious. Ahh...it must be the high-achiever side of me from the time I was younger. As much as I like to be carefree, I must not take this lightly.
My career option would depend on the opportunities that I see at the time when I need to apply for a job. I don't know where I'll end up at but I hope I'll learn to like what I do and be very good at it. Taking chances can lead to greater outcomes but I must be reasonable too. So, we'll see.
I'll leave this part to destiny for now.
25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
(Matthew 6:25-26)
Best wishes to everyone!
BTW, hello September!
It's getting more nerve-wrecking for me now that I'll be in my final year. It's not just the academics. Yes, academics is indubitably a vital portion but that alone is not enough if I want my days to be perpetually fruitful. This is about my future, after all. I don't always like to be all serious about things but it's necessary sometimes, right? Just don't add unnecessary stress. Stressful situations will come and go. We just need to be strong when they come and loosen up when they go away. Go with the flow, as some would say.
Alright, so the final year in university is probably the most crucial for everyone, right? True enough, there are some things that must not be taken lightly. I haven't gone through my final year yet but I have some ideas how it's going to be like. It won't be all glittery and glamorous (although I think that senior students deserve some of that >.<) because of these reasons:
1) We have two semesters left to either maintain or improve our cumulative grade point average (CGPA).
2) We need to give our best effort in completing our final year project (FYP).
3) We are required to go through an internship for a few months prior to our graduation ceremony.
4) We should be envisioning more vividly where we want ourselves to be as career individuals.
5) Let's face it. We've got to think about settling down and starting a family sooner or later. [If mom reads this, she'll nag something like "People these days are getting more modern and career-focus. You can think about getting married when you're over 30." Okay mom! I get that. I'm just listing out the things that we're getting closer to as we get another year older. It's not like I'm planning to get married right after I graduate.
OMG I feel like a real adult! That's just....a little weird. A little.
A macro that I made to sum up how I'm feeling now
Alright, I'll write out my elaborations on the five items above.
Semester by semester, I've been busting my butt off (*Not trying to sound inappropriate here by using a word that refers to a particular body part. It's a metaphor, okay? I know you'd get it.*) to get worthwhile results. Let me admit this - I could have done better. But I'm grateful that I didn't do so badly. Plus, I have this personal issue with perfection where perfection freaks me out a little bit, so a perfect set of grades might not suit me well. LOL.. I feel like I've put on mediocre effort a few times before. *Sigh* Frankly, my result for the 4th semester is the worst by far. >.< I promise to be more disciplined and motivated, okay? God, grant me patience and wisdom, alright? It's only going to get tougher but as the saying goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going." Very true.
Oh, FYP! I know it was created for the sake of the students but I would be lying if I said that it's not a burden at all. Just like in examinations or assignments, I don't like it when I get mediocre results. If I plan to do well, I should go all the way. Let's all do that! So...for my FYP, I had been thinking since the beginning of last semester. If possible, I would rather do a topic that's a little unconventional than typical Finance topics but it has to still be related to my major. That's just how I am. If there's a way to be different (in a good way), why not? Plus, I want to do something that's quite close to my own likings. Therefore, my proposed FYP topic is about Korean pop culture! And since Finance is my major, I chose to relate it to stock performances. Truthfully, I have some doubts every now and then on whether or not I'll be able to pull it off. It's not easy to make certain people get the significance of your own ideas and beliefs, you see. But this is part of it. If there are people who are skeptical about what you're doing, stand by what you believe in and try your best to convince them. Just try and try. That will make your experience so much more meaningful.
Now.....I also need to think about internship. It's one of the requirements in order for us to successfully complete our degree but I don't want my internship to be just an internship. I can't predict how it's going to be but I want to somehow enjoy it, or part of it. Well, I'm the kind of person who can be a little bit of everything, so it might be harder for me to see what really clicks with me. Therefore, I need to wisely choose from the options that I have and stick through it once I've made my decision. This is another thing that makes me feel a little anxious. Ahh...it must be the high-achiever side of me from the time I was younger. As much as I like to be carefree, I must not take this lightly.
My career option would depend on the opportunities that I see at the time when I need to apply for a job. I don't know where I'll end up at but I hope I'll learn to like what I do and be very good at it. Taking chances can lead to greater outcomes but I must be reasonable too. So, we'll see.
I'll leave this part to destiny for now.
25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
(Matthew 6:25-26)
Best wishes to everyone!
BTW, hello September!
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