What's your first aid kit?

We're pretty much done with the first quarter of the year!
How has it been for you so far?
Eventful?  Work in progress?  Mundane?

I just want to remind you that we have a long way to go, so take your breaks, breathe easy, and carry on one step at a time.

I have been going to multiple talk therapy sessions at a mental health clinic.
I decided to invest in such sessions to understand myself better and learn a few techniques to keep my mental health in check.  This also helps me to be more perceptive of other people around me from a psychological perspective.

In one of the recent sessions, we talked about uncertainties and how I would naturally react in uncomfortable situations.
You see, more often than not, I prefer to plan and schedule things for the purpose of remembering the events and optimising the opportunities.  In the past, I had a few impromptu moments, but they do not happen frequently.  When we explored this tendency of mine, as I talk more about it, I referred to my planning behaviour as having my own first aid kit that keeps me feeling secure and ready.  (I literally have a first aid kit at home and a smaller version in my car.  Even my handbag contains a few plasters, patches, and medicines just in case.)  Because of this, it has made me more tensed than I need to be in some situations and unable to let loose even when I want to.

This is something I'm still trying to work on, but acknowledging it is the first step.

By being mindful of my natural tendencies, I can become more aware of my actions and reactions, then make better decisions based on facts and probabilities instead of just a hunch.

It has been interesting to discover more about myself.

Will I keep my first aid kit wherever I go?
Or am I okay with taking more chances and take a leap of faith?

And what about you?
What's YOUR first aid kit?

Have a Blessed Lent, Brothers and Sisters!

Lent begins!

For my brothers and sisters in faith, the 40-day season of Lent starts with Ash Wednesday leading up to Good Friday, then Holy Saturday, and finally Easter Sunday.

During this solemn period, we remember and think about the events that occurred up to our Redeemer's resurrection for our sake.  It is a period of reflection, repentance, and discipline.  Fasting from solid food and abstinence of worldly things are practised throughout this period.  It is encouraged that we personalise the experience by adding activities that are relatable to us at an individual level.  

The goal is to live humbly while relearning our spiritual relationship with the Almighty.

Have a blessed and fulfilling Lent!

Image Source

Plant Mom

Late last year, I came across a booth at a Christmas market that sold mini plants and succulents.  My friend was the one who initially wanted to stop by this booth, but once we were there, I was hooked!

I saw little pots and vases of plants in different shapes and colours, and some of them came with cute animal decorations.  They were just my aesthetics!  I double checked my budget tracker and figured that I could spend just a little bit more on that day.

So, I bought my first plant - Fittonia in a clear glass pot!  It came with a little dog decoration.  I was also given a free succulent (Pink Lady) from an ongoing promotion.

I went home happily as a new plant mom.  :’)

I have been endearingly taking care of my plants as if they were my babies.  As time went by, I gradually added my plants collection.  My plants and soil come from a fabulous shop called Little Eden Succulents (LES), who just opened another branch named The Nest by LES.  They also provide consultation, workshops, and plant boarding services.

Apart from that, I recently came across a handcrafted pot for little plants at Unique Maker Studio and got one for my desk plant.

So, what are the benefits of manning these plants? 🪴 

▪️ Gardening (including ‘mini’ gardening in this case) is one of the ways to destress and unwind.  It’s not one of the easiest hobbies since it requires consistent caretaking and maintaining, but there is always an option to start with low maintenance plants.

▪️ Plants add beauty to the area surrounding them especially when they come in different colours, shapes, and patterns.  This helps to improve mood.

▪️ There is also an environmental impact to keeping plants around.  They help to detoxify and cleanse the air near them.

▪️ Some plants have spiritual meanings to them.  They represent good fortune, love, wealth, positive energy, and so on.  Keeping them is a form of manifesting and attracting those good things into our lives.

Any other plant parents in the house? 👋

In Case…

Quarter 3 of the year 2021 was a significant period of time for me as a mental health advocate.  It was the period of time where I was at my lowest in the midst of a pandemic and I couldn’t bounce back like I normally could.  

After weeks of vigorously battling my own thoughts and emotions, I finally reached out for professional help and thankfully, I was economically able to do so at that time by going to a private mental health clinic.

There, I learned what my triggers and stressors were, and how to manage them day by day.  My psychiatrist evaluated my symptoms and history, and concluded that I had Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) or Clinical Depression caused by burnout and prolonged isolation during lockdowns.

I was on antidepressants (Escitalopram/ Lexapro) for about two months.  I did not like the occasional side effects the medicine gave me such as lethargy and mild hyperventilation, so I consulted my doctor and we agreed to gradually stop the medication and focus on cognitive behavioural therapy sessions instead.

Due to the costs and the fact that I was feeling better, I decided to stop going to the sessions towards the end of 2021.

Ever since, I have become more determined to stand for mental wellbeing with the hope that more people will be well-equipped with the knowledge and resources on this subject matter.  It is also my desire to make mental health facilities more accessible and affordable to the community.

Not too long ago, I had a chat session with Unmind, a workplace wellbeing platform based in London, UK, whose mission is to create mentally healthy workplaces.

The video summary from the session is in progress and should come out soon.

During the session, they asked me something like “What was the trigger point that made you seek for help?”

Here, let me show you a glimpse of that trigger point.

It was when I found myself writing down farewell notes (letter) just in case something happened to me.

I was suddenly so paranoid that something bad was going to happen to me although I was safe from any obvious harm.  That was when I told myself that I needed a professional intervention.

And I’m glad that I made that call.

For anyone who needs to know this, if you feel overwhelmed with any type of emotions or thoughts and you have a hunch that you are not being your usual self, listen to your gut and go find someone you can trust to give you guidance and support.  Take that first step.

Stay safe and carry on! :)

+++ +++ +++

Where to Access Support

If you have concerns about your ability to keep yourself safe, then please:

• Speak to someone you trust to talk things through
• Call 03-76272929 (Malaysia) at Befrienders - https://www.befrienders.org.my/. They provide psychological and emotional support to anyone suffering from mental health issues or crisis, over the phone. Available 24/7.
• You can contact your GP/doctor who will advise where you can access support locally
  
• If out of hours, you can contact your local mental health crisis team or attend your local hospital

Emergency Support

In an emergency, please contact:

• 999 (Malaysia) - if you need an ambulance, police or fire support
• Your local urgent care centre

Mental Health Resources

• Self-Help Information - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/
• Information on different types of mental health problems - https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/

Who am I becoming?

I struggled quite a bit with maintaining healthy habits throughout the year.  They include bits and pieces of my selfcare regime, sleeping hygiene, financial stability, and stress management.

After learning more about human behaviour and habit-forming techniques, I’ve started to be more conscious of what I must get done in order to become the version of me that I would be proud of.

I started to use an app called ‘Habit Rabbit’ a habit tracking app that can help to boost our motivation and productivity in a cute demeanour.  

https://apps.apple.com/my/app/habit-rabbit-habit-tracker/id1522121879

It’s too early to tell how big of an impact it will make to my lifestyle since I’ve only been using it for a couple of weeks, but it is definitely a useful tool that should be put to good use.

After all, it’s about getting that 1% improvement daily which will be compounded into a significant result over time.  It can be small but consistent.

From my recent reading, I’ve discovered that building a desired lifestyle is not about what we do per se, but about who we want to become.  The main focus should be deciding on a self identity that will determine the suitable routine and priorities.

I try to be specific and concise in the habits that I list out for my daily and weekly routine.  I want to make each habit as doable as possible.  Every time I complete a habit for the day, I can mark it as complete and get energy and carrot points in return.  The energy can be used to clean up my rabbit’s room.  The carrots can be used to purchase items for my rabbit and its home.  This makes it more interactive and interesting.  

My rabbit gives me encouraging messages from time to time, which I actually appreciate.  **sob in joy**

Daily mood tracker is also available with a space to add note for the day.

I use the to-do list feature as my shopping list for groceries and personal needs.

I hope you too are on your journey to become who YOU want to be.

Lessons from "Atomic Habits"

I'm taking mandatory leave days off work and flew back to my hometown to unwind and rest.

Work has been quite demanding, not so much on the workload, although on some days, it can get intense from this perspective too, but more so on the expectations and social interactions that I have had to deal with.  As a millennial sandwiched in between the conventional Boomers and Gen X, and the revolutionary Gen Z, I tend to be in a limbo state where I can see both sides of the coins but have to eventually pick a side to move on.

But wait....

That's not what this post is about.
That was just my random rambling about some of the tough days I have to go through.

And guess what?
I think it's fine to acknowledge both the good and bad days every once in a while.

More importantly, I'm just feeling good right now that I'm slowly going back to writing a blog post again after months of procrastinating doing something I know I enjoy. 
I was always in the mindset that makes me stuck in an all-or-nothing mode.  For the longest time, I've been telling myself that if this is my natural tendency, I might as well just accept it and go with the flow.  To a certain extent, going with the flow is a feasible strategy but it shouldn't continue for a long period of time because it limits us of our actual potentials.  I initially thought that going with the flow is the least damaging method to keep moving forward, but I've learned that it actually makes my movement stagnant instead.

Like a beacon of hope, I came across a self-help book entitled 'Atomic Habits' written by James Clear, first published in the United Kingdom in 2018.

It was a fine Tuesday afternoon when I followed my younger siblings to a mall for a movie and we stopped by a bookstore.  My subconscious mind triggered an extra dose of dopamine as I stepped my foot into the store.  I used to read regularly when I was a teenager and young adult.  I stopped my reading habit when I became caught up in my full-time job that made me move to another city.  Having to adjust and catch up with independent adulthood, I gradually strayed away from my interest in reading and writing.  Those who knew me during my childhood or adolescence would remember me as someone studious and diligent.  Ironically, those who knew me during my adulthood would see me as someone outgoing and happy-go-lucky.  When I think about both versions of me, I can testify that both are the real me.  They may seem like different individuals, but they are existing components of my real personality and tendencies.  Now, I'm able to understand myself better after reading 'Atomic Habits' which points out how habits lead to performances, supported by the Four Laws of Behaviour Change - cue, craving, response, reward.

I would recommend reading the whole book to get a clearer picture along with supporting theories and studies behind it. 

For my non-reader blog visitors who do not prefer to spend money and time on a book, here I summarise the key lessons I've learned from the book (Believe me, I've literally highlighted and taped the parts that I find informative and interesting in the book.), which I believe will help us shape our habits to realign with the identity of who we want to become.

1) Focus on systems instead of goals.

Quoting chapter 1 of 'Atomic Habits' - The Surprising Power of Atomic Habits, goals are about the results you want to achieve, whereby systems are about the processes that lead to those results.

If we think about it objectively, achieving a goal is only a momentary gain.  Once a particular goal is completed, we would typically stop the routine that led to the goal and fall back to our old habits.  Instead of focusing on goals, why not focus on implementing a system of continuous small improvements?  This will more likely make a habit long-lasting and automatic because it virtually has no ending.

2) Use implementation intention.

In order to make a desired habit specific and realistic, tie it to a time and place.

Instead of "I will go for a jog today", specify it with "I will jog at 6:00 PM today at Flowerpower Community Park."
Instead of "I will write a blog post", specify it with "I will write a blog post on writing tips at 8:30 PM today in my study room."

3) Use habit stacking combined with temptation bundling.

Human behaviour studies suggest that we tend to decide what to do next based on what we have just finished doing.  Each action becomes a trigger to the next action.  The people in the behavioural science field calls this the Diderot Effect.  We can take advantage of this human tendency by attaching a desired new habit to an existing habit.  The familiarity of a current habit helps to increase the likeliness of a new habit to occur if paired with each other.

An even better approach is to combine habit stacking with temptation bundling.  Temptation bundling refers to linking an action you want to do with an action you need to do.  By doing this, it makes the action more attractive even if we don't necessarily desire to do it because we have linked it to a reward in the form of a desired action.

For instance, if you are a coffee-lover (like me) and would like to practise daily meditation, you can pair drinking coffee with meditating.   "After I meditate for 10 minutes, I will make and drink my morning coffee."

4) The first two minutes should be easy.

When starting a new habit, make it as easy as possible.  Do not overwhelm yourself with the big end goal.  The rule of thumb is that the first two minutes of doing that action should be easy.  Almost every habit can be broken down into a two-minute starting point.  

"Read a book" can become "Read one page".
"Run five laps" can become "Put on running shoes".
"Fold the clean laundry" can become "Fold a t-shirt".
"Do a set of workouts" can become "Spread out workout mat."

5) Create a commitment device.

As explained in chapter 14 of 'Atomic Habits' - How to Make Good Habits Inevitable and Bad Habits Impossible, a commitment device is a choice we make in the present that will control our actions in the future.  It 'locks in' future behaviour that can bind us to a good habit and refrain us from a bad one.  This helps to make good intentions more accessible and bad temptations more distant.

Examples of one-time actions that can lock in good habits are using small plates to control calorie intakes, muting notifications to reduce mindless social media scrolling, activating auto-debit payments to accumulate savings, or moving to a friendly neighbourhood to improve social skills.

6) Experiment through explore-exploit trade-off.

When venturing into a new goal or target, it is a better approach to try out several possible methods in the initial stage and decide to focus on the best method after the early period of exploration.  While implementing the best available method, keep experimenting with new and innovative alternatives occasionally along the way.  If the tested method helps you to win, keep exploiting it.  If the tested method makes you lose, keep exploring for new methods.

7) Know our own talents and tendencies.

Ask these questions:
What feels fun to me?
What keeps me "in the zone"?
Where do I get greater returns?
What comes naturally to me?

(Questions quoted from chapter 18 of 'Atomic Habits' - The Truth About Talent.)

8) Follow the Goldilocks Rule.

Chapter 19 of 'Atomic Habits' - The Goldilocks Rule: How to Stay Motivated in Life and Work states that humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities.  This means that we are the most motivated when we do something that is just right; not too hard, not too easy.

When starting a habit, it is important to make it as easy as possible to help it stick as a routine.  Once the routine is established as an automatic action, it is vital to advance it to the next level to keep us engaged.  Scientists have suggested that a task must be roughly 4% more advanced than our current abilities to keep it interesting.  

As the author James Clear stated, the greatest threat to success is not failure but boredom.

9) Review and refine habits regularly.

Career Best Effort (CBE) is a formula used to quantify the progress of one's performance, created by Pat Riley, former head coach of Los Angeles' basketball team Lakers.
CBE calculates to decimal value of small actions and deeds during the period of performing a job, goal, or function.  For example, if the goal is to lose weight, positive points are given to actions such as completing a daily workout, drinking plain water, or eating fruits, while negative points are given to contradicting actions such as drinking soda, eating fried chicken, or going to bed after midnight.  The pre-determined time in this case can be one day, which converts to 24 hours, or 1,440 minutes.  The CBE is calculated by adding all positive points throughout the day based on their frequencies (one action equals to one point), subtracting all negative points in the same day, then divide the value by the time in minutes.

Say on this day, you have completed your morning workout 1 time before work, drank plain water in 6 times, ate fruits during lunch and dinner summing to 2 times, at fried chicken during dinner 1 time, and drank soda in the evening 1 time.
Your CBE for this day is equal to
[(Positive points minus negative points)] divided by total time in minutes
= [(1+6+2) - (1+1)] / 1,440
= (9 - 2) / 1,440
= 7 / 1,440
= 0.00486

After taking out the integer before the decimal point and the preceding zeros right after the decimal point, 486 is your CBE point.

The aim is to improve by 1% in your next attempt at your goal.  So, on the next day, you should try to get at least 487 as your CBE point.

10) Be flexible.

Nothing is really permanent over time.  Because of this, it is important to be flexible with your perspectives and way of living.  Have your own identity but keep each component 'small' so that no part of your identity overpowers the other parts of you as a person.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this book.
It is factual and practical.  It makes me want to become a better me for real, not just as an idea.

Emergency Bag

Oxford Dictionary defines emergency as a serious, unexpected, and often dangerous situation requiring immediate action.

If an emergency occurs, it’s vital to remain as calm as possible while also acting quickly.  

So, how prepared are we to deal with such a situation if we don’t even know when or if it will happen?

That’s quite a tricky thing to address because we always hope that we won’t be in a dangerous emergency situation.

However, it’s always a good idea to be prepared enough so that we have less obstacles to deal with after we get out of an emergency situation and continue to live well.

This is why I believe that every household or individual should have an emergency bag or kit ready.

Sometimes we may not be privileged enough to have the time to pack up before evacuating or taking shelter elsewhere.

I recently put more thought into this when there was a fire incident at my apartment complex that impacted multiple towers.  Only a small part of an area was on fire but the heavy smoke spread to the surrounding towers due to lack of ventilation.  The fire alarm and PA system were not functioning at the time of the incident for an undisclosed reason.  *fishy, huh 🤔*

I was already outside and staying in a different accommodation at that time due to a personal appointment.  I was made aware of the incident when my housemate texted me about it in the afternoon.

Apparently, the fire started as early as 3 or 4 in the morning but my own housemate was only aware of it and got out of the building around 4 or 5 in the afternoon after a neighbour kept ringing our doorbell.

We joined a Whatsapp group chat created by residents of the same complex to get updates on the incident. 

Our own unit was not badly affected since our doors and windows were closed and our balcony was facing the opposite, less impacted side.  There was only strong burnt smell from the smoke and some parts of the house was extra dusty and dirty.  We found out that the less fortunate residents had it way worse and their houses required vigorous cleaning and scrubbing using chemically stronger washing products.  In the group chat, the other residents were sharing about their own experiences trying to evacuate the building with difficulty to breathe and limited visibility because of the smoke.  Some residents didn’t have the chance to grab essential items for their children and themselves.

I was lucky that I was already outside and had my luggage of clothes and toiletries with me.  My reporting manager at work advised me to take an emergency time-off on the next day since my work laptop was at home and the firefighters were still working on ensuring that the fire was contained and the buildings (residential towers) were safe.  So, I spent the night at a friend’s place.

Once I had returned home, I did some basic cleaning and laundry.

I also filled up my waterproof gym bag with some essential items that I believed would be useful in the case of an emergency.  

That bag is now my emergency bag.  It has just enough things that I might need if I’m ever required to immediately leave home in an emergency situation and spend a night elsewhere.

Stay safe!

I went to see Blue’s 20th Anniversary Concert

One love…for the mother’s pride 

One love…for the times we cried 

One love…gotta stay alive 

I will survive 

One love…for the city streets 

One love…for the hip hop beats 

One love…oh I do believe 

One love is all we need ☝️ 

Wow…that song brings back memories from my teenage years!  

I’ve been a fan of Blue since I was in secondary school.

Back then, things were less digital and I was still in the process of learning how to survive life in general.  There were fun moments in my adolescent years but most of them were pretty awkward and cringey.

Enjoying music from the early 2000’s was my way of keeping it together.

I only had my first phone when I entered college for matriculation (pre-university), so I was relying on walkman and cassette player as my music-listening tools.  Additionally, I would watch music videos and stage performances on TV or computer connected to landline telephone internet.

How laidback were we back then with less technology, huh?

Fast forward to two decades later, I’m now a working adult with my own income and lifestyle. 

I found out that Blue was coming (back) to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for a concert.  It was for their 20th anniversary tour.

Other artists were/ are coming too in this same year such as Ne-yo, Westlife, Blackpink, Louis Tomlinson, and more.

I low-key was determined to get a ticket to Blue’s concert since the price range and seats layout were the most attractive to me.  I saw it as a destined chance to finally see them live as a reward for my teenage self.

So I set an alarm on my phone to alert me when tickets started to be on sale and borrowed my sister’s laptop as I was still at my hometown for Christmas and New Year holidays when they started selling the tickets online.

I went for the VVIP package that included a Meet & Greet session, a poster, and a lanyard.  After I successfully purchased a ticket, it felt surreal to me but I tried my best to contain my excitement.

Day by day, I was counting down to the concert day.

I revisited my Apple Music playlist and played Blue’s old and new songs on repeat. 

About two weeks before the concert day, the organiser (Hitman Solutions and Happymoon Live) organised a #20YearsChallenge to pick a number of fans who would get soundcheck passes to witness the group testing and adjusting their sound system before the concert started.

I created my content in the form of an Instagram Reel and submitted it on the first day of the contest itself.  Can you tell how excited I was?

I was confident with my submission but still felt a tinge of nervousness that I might not win and would miss the special opportunity.

About two days before the concert, the winners were announced and I saw my username @prissy.st as the first one on the list!  I was going to a soundcheck session with Blue!

Soundcheck ✔️ 

Meet & Greet ✔️ 

Concert ✔️ 

If I could talk to my younger self from many years ago, I would tell her “This is for you. Enjoy!”.

On the concert day, I woke up smiling knowing that I would see my teenage crushes up-close for the first time. 

I made my coffee and had a meal while keeping track of the time so that I would not miss the fan experiences prior to the concert.

I wrote fan letters to each member and their manager, and decorated them with stickers and washi tapes just like how my teenage self would.  When the time came, I took my shower and got ready.

Then, I drove to Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre (KLCC) as the concert took place in Plenary Hall of KLCC.

As soon as I parked my car at the basement parking of the convention centre, I made my way to the wristband collection point. I made sure to read every visible signboard and banner to get to the correct spot.

While waiting for the soundcheck to start (We were actually also waiting for the members to arrive from their hotel), I took a few commemorative photos and videos at the venue.  It felt good to be back in the physical concert scene after a global pandemic.  I couldn’t help but to smile on my own from time to time.

To shake off my nerves, I casually talked to a few of the other fans while waiting.

We were briefed on the general rules of the soundcheck to not get in the way of the concert preparation but were also reminded to enjoy the moments.

As the door to the hall was opening, we could hear “One, two, one two…” from one of the members.  That sounded like Simon’s voice.  Their tour manager gave us the green light to enter, so we excitedly (but quietly) entered the hall while the lads were singing a part of ‘Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word’.

Man…they looked effortlessly cool just sitting on their chairs while singing and talking!

They continued to request for adjustments on their microphones and in-ears from the sound engineer as we continued to watch them in awe.  I recorded bits of the moments on my phone but I mostly recorded them with my eyes to be embedded into my core memories.

The members tested their sound system by singing a couple more songs - ‘All Rise’ and ‘Haven’t Found You Yet’.

At the end, they ended the soundcheck with Lee playfully saying “Alright, that was the concert!” and we laughed at his joke.  They spent a few minutes to chat with us and came closer to the edge of the stage.  They bid goodbye with Duncan saying “Enjoy the show!”.  The members waved and blew kisses while walking away.  Lee was the last one to walk away and he even sang a quick birthday song to those whose birthdays were in February.

We then made our way out to the Meet & Greet session for VVIP ticket holders. 

We were informed that the photo session would be conducted in groups at the request of the artists management.  Their management did not expect to have that many VVIP fans.

As we were lining up in groups of five-ish and waiting, we killed the time by chatting with other fans around us.  One by one, each group was called in.  We cheered for those going before us and that got us even more excited (and probably nervous too).  When it was my group’s turn, I couldn’t stop smiling and shrieking internally.  I felt my heart beating fast as I was walking into the photoshoot room.  I’m pretty sure I never stopped smiling the entire time as if my jaws were locked in that smiling position.  I instantly saw Simon first, and I saw Lee next to him.  Antony and Duncan were there too on the other side.  I cruised my way to stand next to Simon and not too far from Lee.  As I was approaching them, I instinctively bowed to say hello.  Simon bowed back slightly but Lee was bowing back to me 90-degree. LOL 

After a couple of shoots, we had to go and make way for the next group.  I quickly took out the fan letters I had put in a clear plastic seal from my bag and faced Simon as I gave them to him while saying “These are for you guys”.  Simon said thank you with a gorgeous smile, so I looked away shyly.  I then looked at Lee and said “I’ll enjoy the show” and as I turned around, I saw and felt him poking my left shoulder as if gesturing “See you later!”.  I just kept smiling again while walking out until I saw one of the organisers and told her “So fast but so cool” with a thumb up.  She giggled and said thank you.

I had about an hour left before the show started, so I met up with a relative (the wife of my grandma’s cousin’s son) who was also attending the concert.  I was hungry and thirsty, so I had a burger and plain water.

We then made our way to the concert hall but stopped a while for a photo-taking session at the concert backdrop.

Then, I collected my lanyard and poster before entering the concert hall.

After an opening remark by the emcee (Natalie of Fly FM) and a couple of songs from the opening act (Diana Danielle), Blue’s intro music medley was played.  

Then, the concert was starting! 

No words can truly describe what I was going through during the entire show but I sure was having a damn good time.

I would replay this memory many, many times.

Below was the setlist for the evening:

1- Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

2- Heart & Soul

3- Haven’t Found You Yet

4- U Make Me Wanna

5- Ultraviolet 

6- Paradise

7- Medley: Get Ready + Signed, Sealed, Delivered

8- Get Down On It

9- King Of The World

10- Best In Me

11- If You Come Back

12- Too Close

13- Dance With Me

14- Curtain Falls

15- Fly By

16- Bubblin’

17- All Rise

18- One Love

Thank you, Blue!

Thank you, organiser!

One love! 💙

Do’s & Don’ts of Managing Money

*Cue the song ‘Billionaire’ by Travie McCoy*

Wouldn’t it be nice to have all the money you need at all times?

Wouldn’t it be nice to walk into a store and happily get a luxurious item you like without checking the price?

Wouldn’t it be nice to travel around the world with only the best accommodations and VIP arrangements?

Wouldn’t it be nice to truly experience peace of mind knowing you are debt-free?

All of those are good aspirations in my opinion but quite far-fetched for most commoners (Is that even the right term?).

If you are able to do any or all of those things, good for you!  Please keep it up.

For a lot of people who are rather surviving than thriving when it comes to building wealth, please know that it’s going to be okay.  I can’t promise you that it will be quick or easy, but you will find your way.  If you’re already practising healthy financial habits and you’re seeing an improvement in your money management, keep it going because consistency is the key.

Those who are currently in survival mode and living pay check by pay check with close to zero surplus, I hear you.  I know it’s tough.  So, let’s get through this one day at a time and be mindful of where our money goes.

Financial wellbeing is as important as any type of wellbeing because it can have a causation effect on the rest of your…..well, being.  See the wordplay I did there?  LOL

If you’re still struggling to start your better financial habits, here are some do’s and don’ts that I’ve learned and practised for the past couple of years.  These have helped me get through price hikes and minor emergencies while still allowing me to enjoy occasional indulgences.

The day we receive our wage or salary is usually a crucial time for our money management decisions, so these do’s and don’ts are to be observed especially during the first week of getting paid.

Do’s:

- Do track your money inflow and outflow including cash in hand, money in bank account, and credit card usage.

- Do segregate your budget into commitments (ie. - loans, bills, rent, insurance), expenses (ie. - groceries, eating out, transportation), savings (ie. - emergency, investment, targeted future purchase), and loose money.

Loose Money here refers to surplus (balance) money you have left after deducting your usual spendings.  It can be used to buy gifts, go for a vacation, treat yourself to a spa, or kept for additional saving or investment.

- Do prioritise according to your current circumstances using Must—Need—Should—Only If order.

[Example - 1st Commitments (Must pay or allocate as per pre-determined amount), 2nd Expenses (Need to allocate certain amount), 3rd Savings (Should allocate some amount), 4th Loose Money (Only if the other priorities are met)]

- Do write down your monthly financial goal.

[Examples - No new shoes or bags; Eat out once a week only; Pay off credit card balance; etc.]

- Do ask for advice from a trusted family member or friend who seems financially literate if in doubt of your current priorities.

Don’ts:

- Don’t stray away from your budget.

- Don’t treat credit cards like extra money.

- Don’t mistake temporary wants as needs.

- Don’t make financial decisions when you’re too tired or too happy.

- Don’t be afraid to say NO to things or activities you cannot afford yet.

So, can we commit to applying the above do’s and don’ts?

Sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit.

Start Journaling!

Do you believe in the power of manifestation?

How about the benefits of mental resets?

I’m aware that we’re all distinctive human beings who are unique in our own ways.  When it comes to life goals and aspirations, some of us might want similar things, while some prefer to mix it up here and there.

That’s the beauty of it!

Life’s what YOU make it.  No matter what the generalised society standards are, don’t forget to prioritise what’s important to YOU.

Now that we’re getting more comfortable to become who we want and achieve what we desire, how do we attract the right vibes to get ourselves to that pinnacle of success or happiness?

Let me tell you the secret - it’s all up to what your brain decides.  Our minds are powerful.  What we think about many times will most likely come true with the right resources and circumstances.

Because of this, I highly recommend each of you to start journaling.  Yes, journaling.

I had always been very bad at journaling.  I would buy many different types of notebooks and diaries, but only used a few pages before forgetting they existed.  Possibly contributed by my ADHD-ish traits, I was struggling with being consistent at writing down my thoughts.

Quite recently, I figured out why.  It was because I mistakenly thought that journaling should strictly be done in one style of “dear diary” activity.  Boy, was I wrong.

There are actually different styles of journaling and all of them can make an impact to the person doing it regularly.

Below are some journaling styles I would like to mention:

1) Manifestation Style

This style emphasises on what we want to achieve for the day, week, month, or even year.

It allows us to declare the things we want to happen and diminish any doubts we might have.

I use this style now as my daily morning “Today I will” journal.

2) Gratitude Style

This style lets us list down things we are thankful for and helps us count our blessings.

It simply recognises positive experiences as more impactful than negative ones.

I also use this style as my weekly “Best blessing” routine.

3) Story-Telling Style

This style gives us a chance to narrate what has been happening to us and what we think will happen next.

It serves as a diary that documents our memorable moments in writing and sometimes in pictures too.

4) Expressive Style

This style allows us to rant about our day or week in a therapeutic manner.

It provides freedom to say (write) what we want about a situation or incident or idea without being judged.

5) Artsy Style

This style lets us get creative and artistic with our way to portray a topic, occasion, or even emotion.

It is also known as junk journaling where we can use stickers, washi tapes, magazine cuts, hand-drawing, or literally any materials.

6) Planner Style

This style may be more attractive to people who prefer to be organised and in control.  It helps us track our schedule and activities including appointments, exercises, water intake, money flow, etc.

I practise a little bit of this style too by having simple Appointments for the Week and Money Tracker sections in my journal.

What other journaling styles do you know of?

And which one is your favourite style?

I hope you find the one that suits you.

Happy journaling!

The 30-After-30-Before Rule

For the past few months, I started this new habit I call 30-After-30-Before.  I learned this after listening to a talk during World Mental Health week.

Basically, I dedicate 30 minutes after I wake up in the morning and 30 minutes before I go to bed at night for mandatory me-time.  On busy working days or on free weekends, I stick to this.

The suitable length of time may vary from one person to another, but the bare minimum should be 10 minutes per session.

For the first few weeks of doing this, it felt a little bit out of place for me because my anxiety wouldn’t let me fully relax and be in the moment.  I kept doing it anyway because I’ve learned that healthy habits are developed by repetitively doing something positive even if some level of gentle forcing may be required.

During the first 30 minutes after I wake up, I usually make myself a cup of coffee and drink it while playing a game on my Nintendo Switch or phone.  Before I go to bed, I normally scroll social media platforms (TikTok, IG) to see random but sometimes educational contents, or watch an episode of a series on Netflix or Disney Plus.

Through this habit also, I’ve become more comfortable in setting reasonable boundaries both at work and in my personal life.  I still hustle and deliver my best daily, but I also remember to take a step back and breathe.

That’s the goal!

Millionaire by Menabung

How have you been this year?

We’re about to say goodbye to 2022 in less than 2 months!

For me, this year has been quite eventful and life-changing.

Overall, it has been a good year and I’m getting the feeling that this is another beginning of something wonderful in my personal life.

Today, I would like to share about a concept I’ve been thrilled to do when it comes to personal financial management.

I call it ‘Millionaire by Menabung’.

For non-Malay language speakers, ‘menabung’ refers to the act of saving up money into a piggy bank.  These days, it has evolved to more than that with the advancement of our financial system and investment options.

Let’s face it - the economy and cost of living have made it increasingly challenging for most of us to consistently save up and become financially stable.

I’m lucky enough to be able to live comfortably and enjoy occasional indulgences every now and then.  However, I’m still a bit worried about my personal wealth in case of a major economic downturn in the future.

Because of this, I’ve made it my personal goal to build up my wealth and funds bit by bit.

My mission is simple - I want to be able to survive on my own if my regular source of income gets cut off for whatever reason.  Once my emergency fund is sufficient to last for months, the subsequent surplus is then channeled to non-mandatory spendings such as travels, gadgets, self-care indulgences, and others.

I have more than one active bank accounts.

Instead of closing the older accounts, I’ve segregated each of my existing bank accounts into specific functions:-

Account 1 - Loose Fund Account (where my monthly salary is pumped into)

Account 2 - Intermediary Account (where I put aside money for monthly commitments such as bills, groceries, investments, and regular spending)

Account 3 - Safekeeping Account (where I keep money for emergency)

Account 4 - Miscellaneous Account (where I allocate specific amount of money for personal insurance auto-debit)

I use an app called Loot to keep track of how much I have saved and how much my target amounts are for certain items.

To help me with my longer term saving and investment, I make use of a wealth management platform called StashAway, licensed by the Securities Commission Malaysia (eCMSL/A0352/2018).

I have a long way to go and I need to be disciplined enough to consistently mind my savings and spendings.

This little initiative of mine is my own way to reach personal financial freedom.

Whatever your circumstances are, I hope you find your little way towards financial wellbeing.

My Fidget Spinners

Have you ever wondered what the once famous fidget spinners are originally for? 🪀🪁🚂

They are tools used to relieve anxiety or calm the nerves.

Although anyone can get it for fun, it is especially useful for those with anxiety, attention deficit, or autism.

In my personal experience, it helps to have a little something I can hold on to and play around with while executing a task such as talking on the phone, listening to someone, presenting a case, and so on.  I moderately struggle with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and anxiety. There are times when I need aid to remain calm and focused.  This is because I would naturally get fidgety when focusing on a task and my hands and feet would become hyperactive.

I do not own an actual fidget spinner, but I have its alternatives — my McDonald’s Happy Meal toys! 🧸 

Every now and then, I would order a Happy Meal and collect these cutesy and colourful toys.  I keep some of them in my bag, in my car, on my desk, and near my work area.  When I need something to hold on to, I would spin, toggle, disassemble, and reassemble them.

Your thoughts?

My Daytime Skincare Routine

Hey there!

Ever since I became a beauty consultant with Mary Kay Malaysia, I’ve realised how vital it is to be consistent in practising our skincare routine.

After learning the correct methods and improving my product knowledge, I find it fun now.

Below are the skincare items that I use for my daytime skincare routine:

- Cleanser with Skinvi brushing device

- Lip scrub

- Essence water

- Intensive serum with Skinvi massager

- Eye cream

- Day cream with SPF30

- Sunscreen with SPF50

Occasionally, I will add the following:

- Charcoal mask

- Eye patch

- Eye gel

- Lip balm

How about you?

Lockdown-Friendly Personal Styling

Hi lovely people!

I’m excited to share with you about a personalised and convenient way to upgrade your wardrobe for casual or formal occasions.

I used to be quite a shopaholic, so I know how much time, effort, and money we usually use up when we go on a shopping spree.  At the end of the day, it always felt satisfying!

Now I don’t shop much anymore because of other commitments I need to prioritise, which is why I feel like it was heaven-sent when I came across Ellegra, a personal styling and shopping service offered in Peninsular Malaysia.

With Ellegra, customers are asked to answer a style quiz on Ellegra website noting several information about their wardrobe preferences, must-haves, dislikes, wishlists, budget range, and general body measurements.  After the quiz has been completed, customers are required to fill up their delivery and payment details (Only a small styling fee to be paid at this point), then wait for a designated stylist to pick five clothing items based on the feedback from the style quiz.

Once the stylist has gathered the clothing items and prepared a sheet containing ideas on what to match the items with, the items will be packed and delivered to the customer’s address.  After the delivery, the customer can try out every item and decide to keep or return some or all of them.  A prepaid return label is enclosed in the delivered package to make it easier for the customer to pack and drop off the returned items at the nearest collection point (CollectCo or NinjaVan).  

Within three days, the customer should log in on the website to do checkout by specifying which item to keep (and pay for) and which to return.  Comments can also be added so that the stylist knows why the customer likes or dislikes a particular item.  If the customer decides to keep all five items, a discount of 20% off the Style Box’s value is applicable.  

(P/S - My first Style Box is valued at RM 431.90 in total, but after the discount and styling fee deduction, I would only need to pay RM 315.52 for five new clothes from five different stores.)

Customers have the option to set scheduled Style Box delivery or log in the website the next time they want to shop for more clothes.

This service is currently available in Peninsular Malaysia only, so I am a bit sad that my homies in East Malaysia aren’t able to enjoy this just yet.  Cross our fingers so that they expand their business to the whole of Malaysia sooner or later.  Ellegra is planning to extend this service to male customers as well, so look out for that.

To those interested to try this service, be my guest and get 50% off your styling fee (worth RM 50) for your first Style Box.⠀

Click on www.ellegra.com.my?refer=643116574⠀

Let’s dress for success!

Paying It Forward

Hi everyone!

How are you today?

I hope you have been getting some rest to recharge for a new week.

If you don’t mind, I would like to share a little bit about paying it forward.

To put it in its simplest form, paying it forward refers to doing a good deed to someone for a kindness that someone else has done (or will do) to you.  It’s about giving back to the community or those in need.

After I was hired for my current permanent job in 2014, I made it my personal goal to pay it forward in a manner close to my heart.

I have always been passionate about defending children’s rights, especially their rights in receiving education in addition to basic daily necessities.  Children are our future and are worth the investment of our time, energy, and money.  And so, I found out about child sponsorship through  World Vision Malaysia.

Contributions through World Vision are pooled in a shared fund to be used in long-term development programmes targeted towards a specific community’s well-being and livelihood.  

The development programmes focus on the following:

- Clean water and sanitation 

- Healthcare

- Food and agriculture 

- Education 

- Economic development 

My monthly contributions to World Vision Malaysia are currently used for the below projects:

- Education fund

- Child sponsor (John Rhey, Philippines)

- Child sponsor (Thi Luu, Vietnam)

- Child sponsor (Tanos Abbas, Lebanon)

As a child sponsor, I receive annual reports on how my children and their community are doing.  I also receive letters and cards (and beautiful drawings!) from my children.

Hearing about how my children are progressing and what they aspire to become gives me pure joy and confidence that we are getting ready for the future no matter where we are.

In addition to child sponsorship through World Vision, I am also a supporter of other non-profit organisations such as UNICEF, WWF, NKF, and SPCA.

How about you?

How do you prefer to pay it forward? 💜

Beauty Pageant: Yay or Nay

How’s 2021 treating you so far?

I hope your drive to get through this new year is as high as it can be.  Great things will happen, and let’s claim that!

I was browsing through my photo gallery to archive older photos.  As I was mindlessly doing that, I paused at the sight of a few photos taken over 4 years ago.  Those were the photos from a beauty pageant that I took part in years ago.

I wonder how my pageant sisters and moms are doing now.  I hope they’re all having the best life they can get, each excelling in her own niche.

If you asked me today, whether or not I would join another pageant if given the opportunity, I would say no.  The main reason would be because at the age and career stage that I’m in right now, I don’t think it’s a good idea to embark into a commitment as significant as a pageant.  

Yes!  It is a commitment.  And yes!  It has its significance and contributions to the community.

Having said that, I would like to take this opportunity to emphasise that a beauty pageant deserves more respect and attention than most of you are giving it.  Some people tend to look down on pageant participants and supporters, which I personally think is unfair and needs to stop.  I can’t completely blame anyone for this, though, since I know this is mainly contributed by the lack of proper exposure on the process and behind-the-scenes of a pageant event.  A pageant is far more than just the grand finale evening where the finalists present themselves on stage in pretty dresses and perky performances.  

These are the basic activities of a pageant event before the grand finale (known as coronation night):

- Interview or introductory video submission 

- Selection of quarter final or semi final participants 

- Trainings and classes for semi-finalists

- Semi final event

- Selection of finalists

- More trainings and classes for finalists 

- Grooming and photoshoot sessions

- Social visits to selected charity or business institutions 

- Preliminary rounds for grand finale (ie. Talents section; Sports section; Community section; etc.)

After all of those activities (and maybe more for some pageants), comes the grand finale, where the finalists give their final shot at showing the judges and audience why they are the best among the best.  

Every wise person should know that a pageant queen is more than just a pretty face.  More than her outward appearance, a good pageant queen is also smart.  She is brave and kind.  She takes care of others as much as she takes care of herself.  Most of all, she wants a better world for everyone.  

That is not an easy responsibility to carry, but through the pageant title that is granted to the winners, along with the trainings and experiences given to the finalists, each of them can make a positive change within their community little by little.  Like a ripple effect, these collective small changes will grow bigger and spread to the rest of the world.

THAT is the true purpose of a pageant.  I wish more people would recognise that and provide more support to such notion.  

Stay safe!

Lessons & Reminders Through ‘Animal Crossing’

When adorable meets addictive, it’s a pretty lethal combination but in an endearing way.  Take this game - ‘Animal Crossing: New Horizons’ as my personal example.

Today, I’ve been playing it throughout the day (with breaks multiple times, thankfully) until I had to use my spare joystick while the other one is being charged.⠀

I realised that this game has been teaching me some useful lessons and reminders that can be applied in real life.

These are the fundamental reminders that I discovered while playing this adorable game.

⠀

1. Surround yourself with people you can trust and treat them as your equal even if they’re different than you.

2. Appreciate and cooperate with the people who try their best to cater to your needs with patience.

3. Spend wisely and let go of unused items.

4. Listen and learn new things from those who have certain knowledge and skills.

5. Hustle up to gain your income for your future use.

6. Be open to adventures but stay cautious to a certain extent.

7. Be thankful and get excited when you receive surprises.

8. Take time to pause and see the beauty around you.

9. Have some time and space for yourself.

10. Celebrate achievements and give credits to the deserving ones.

11. At the end of the day, get some rest.

There you have it!

If you’re also playing this game, feel free to add to the list.

Baby Steps for Mama Earth

This month, we celebrated Earth Day on April 22nd.  It’s a yearly reminder for us to keep playing our part in keeping our earth clean and safe.

A huge factor that everyone should be thinking about when it comes to taking care of this earth is the sustainability of our actions.  This refers to what we can do best to protect this earth and how to be consistent about it for the long run.  This kind of effort requires the whole population (ideally) to do their part and make that extra effort whenever possible. 

It may be unfamiliar and unnatural at first, but keep making that effort for a healthier planet we call home.

I would love to know what you have been doing in playing your part, and I might get ideas or inspirations from you.  So, please share what you think are doable, beneficial ways for us to Go Green for Mother Earth.

Below are some of the small things I have been doing with pleasure as my personal ways of paying it forward for our earth.  I try to do these things as much as possible. Baby steps...

Use reusable shopping bags

Bring along metal straws (or choose paper straws)

Bring along reusable cutleries

Pack takeaway food or drinks in containers 

Sort aside recyclable items 

How I Pack for a 5D4N Trip

Travelling is pretty much everyone’s desire.  Hands down on that!  

Some people travel to have fun, some travel to take a break from their daily schedules, and some travel for work.  Whatever your reason is, travelling allows you to open up your eyes and mind to more possibilities as well as realities.  You get to learn new things and discover new knowledge.

For me, I mostly travel to take a good break from my day-to-day routine. I also travel to go home all the way to my hometown at the Borneo part of Malaysia, since I’m working at the Peninsular part of the country.

Whenever possible, I prefer to pack light but I also want to be sufficiently equipped with the essential things that I need when I’m away.  So, over the years, I learned to manage and adjust my packing style according to my personal needs.  

Here, I will share with you a glimpse of what (and how) I pack for my 5-day-4-night overseas trip.  If you find it to be useful for yourself, feel free to imitate and make your next travel more enjoyable and comfortable.

The trick to save up space for clothes is to roll them instead of fully folding them.


Put aside what you wish to wear to the airport.  Keep is simple and comfortable.


Don’t forget the items you need to use everyday. Your hotel or homestay might provide some of the items but it’s always recommended to bring your own travel packs.


Decide and delegate on what you need to bring in your smaller bag that you will carry with you all the time.


And there you go!

If you have a useful guide or tips of your own, please share it too!