Personal Financial Management, My Way

Whenever mom reminds me to manage my finance well now that I'm working professionally, I always jokingly answer "I know, I know. I'm a Finance graduate, remember?". ㅋㅋㅋ

As much as it's true that I'm indeed a Finance graduate from the dearly missed Universiti Malaysia Sarawak (UNIMAS), the truth is, it doesn't matter what major someone took in university, or whether or not someone has graduated from any tertiary institution. We ALL need a proper personal financial plan. By planning and managing our finance well, we can rest assure that our daily necessities will be attainable and accessible. Once we get what we need, we can touch on what we want or desire.

There's no denying that the cost of living is getting higher and our liabilities can easily overshadow our assets these days. Therefore, it's not a petty matter at all when we talk about personal financial management.

I'm aware that every individual has his or her own way or method. As long as your way works fine for your lifestyle, by all means, go for it.

Here's my way of managing my personal finance.
First, I set up my principle, which outlines my focus when it comes to managing my own finance. My principle is to make sure that I abide by these two 'rules' - (i) to keep my priorities straight, and (ii) to practise some discipline in my spending.
If I ever feel lost, unsure, or tempted, I take a moment to think about those two 'rules'.

So, every month when I receive my salary, I utilise it in a pre-determined flow.
The flow may slightly change in the future as my circumstances may evolve, but for now, here's the flow.
(1) Receive salary -- (2) Pay mandatory expenses -- (3) Save -- (4) Buy gifts for family and pets -- (5) Do charity -- (6) Reward myself

(1) Receive salary
- I won't specify exactly how much I get paid per month, but I'll just state that my starting basic salary as an employee of an international financial institution in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia is somewhere in between MYR 2,000 to 3,000 per month.
- Every month, a tiny percentage of my salary automatically goes to my Employee Pension Fund (EPF) and Social Security Organisation (SOCSO) fund.

(2) Pay mandatory expenses
- My mandatory monthly expenses include rental (RM450, combined with utilities and residential association), public transportation (RM50 reload of transportation card), daily meals (RM450, including occasional purchase of Gloria Jean's coffee, or Starbucks coffee, or Secret Recipe desserts), mobile phone reload (RM60 for normal calling, texting, and mobile internet subscription) grocery shopping (RM150, usually at ISETAN Food Market or 99 Speedmart), and healthcare/ beauty shopping (RM100, usually at Watson's).

(3) Save
- For now, I allocate at least RM100 for my bank's saving account.
- I allocate another RM150 for my Amanah Saham Bumiputra (ASB) account, a trust fund for Bumiputra Malaysians.

(4) Buy gifts for family and pets
- Mom always tells me to focus on myself, especially since I'm rather new at this whole working adult notion, but every now and then, I like to get a little something for those back home when I have the chance.
- Plus, it helps to feed my burning passion for shopping.

(5) Do charity
- I believe in "paying it forward", where we do something nice for others, not because we feel obliged to, but because we simply want to.
- As of now, I'm particularly supporting World Vision (www.worldvision.com.my) through their Sponsor A Child programme and Education fund.
- I also support Malaysian Dogs Deserve Better (www.facebook.com/MalaysianDogsDeserveBetter).

(6) Reward myself
- Needless to say, this is my favourite part. However, I always make sure that it's the LAST one in line. This way, I can truly enjoy every moment without feeling uncertain or guilty.
- My favourite ways of rewarding myself include shopping for outfits, watching movies at the cinema, café-hopping, getting my hair treated or done at the salon, or going for a karaoke session. (I have more care-free and fun activities to add on the list, to be frank. LOL)
- Aside from the above-listed activities, I also reward myself by going for a trip. This requires a mid-or-long term kind of planning, especially for overseas destination.

So, there you go!
I shall monitor and enhance my personal financial management as time goes by because I want to have a balance between being stable and flexible.

More than anything, I really really really hope that everyone realises the need to properly manage one's finance, regardless of how much we earn and how many dependents we have. Work something out and don't stress out. Let's not take this lightly, alright?

posted from Bloggeroid

I've Learned Valuable Things

Fangirls... fangirls... fangirls... and also fanboys..

The way I see it, for certain individuals like me, we have three separate but sometimes linked sides of life - personal life, professional life, and fandom life.

I'm sure many of you already know that personal life refers to matters that are close to us like family, friends, hobbies, interests, me-time, etc.  As for professional life, it obviously involves our formal learning, career, and other professional endeavours.

So.....what about fandom life?
I'll tell you what it's about.  As the name suggests, it revolves around the things that a "fan" typically does in an effort to support his or her favourite singers, actors, actresses, models, hosts, or any celebrity, and to keep himself or herself updated with what the stars are up to.  Some people often mislabel fangirls and fanboys who are active in their fandom activities as being "obsessed" or "delusional".
My response to that is: -
No no no...  We're not all like that.  Yes, there are some fans who tend to show their annoyingly obsessive side every now and then.  However, that doesn't mean that it's fair for anyone to jump into conclusion and assume that every self-declared fangirl or fanboy is exactly like that.  We're not, okay.  Like human beings in general, we have our own colours, personalities, and behaviour.  So, please don't simply have the false impression that all fangirls and fanboys are the same.  While we're at it, I would like to apologise if any of you had gone through unpleasant experiences with any fangirl or fanboy before.  Some of us are very young, some of us are almost clueless, some of us are rather emotional, some of us are quite headstrong.  So, sorry for any inconvenience caused.

Now, I hope that you have an idea of what fandom life is basically about.
To hardcore** fans, being part of the fandom movement is a joyful and fulfilling thing.  It can get stressful or tensed sometimes, but at the end of the day, it's all worth it as long as each fan knows how to 'mengukur baju di badan sendiri'.  If a new album comes out or if the artists are coming to town for a performance, it's great if many fans can purchase the original album or buy the performance tickets as a sign of support, but for fans who cannot afford it in terms of money, time, or energy, it's okay to be supportive in a different way - cheering from the sidelines, watching music shows, promoting the new album or event, etc.
(**P/S - Being hardcore in this context doesn't mean being insanely over-the-top.  I'm trying to refer to fans who always try their best to be supportive and participative by joining fanclubs, buying albums and merchandises, attending concerts or showcases or fanmeets, going to fans-only gatherings, and such.  I feel that "hardcore" is still quite an appropriate word here, but it's hardcore in a good way, you know?)

I feel fortunate to have the chance to become part of the staff members of a couple of voluntary K-pop fanclubs in Malaysia.  The 2 Malaysian fanclubs that I'm happily part of are MYB2UTY and MYBTOB.  Both MYB2UTY and MYBTOB are under Cube Global Official Fansites, assigned by Cube Entertainment some time ago.  MYB2UTY is a Malaysian fanclub for BEAST, whereby MYBTOB is a Malaysian fanclub for BTOB.  Check them out if you haven't.

Some of you might be wondering, what exactly do fanclub admins (staff members) do?
To answer that, I would like to first point out that being a fanclub admin is a voluntary and for-pure-fun thing.  We don't get paid for managing or updating fanclub sites, but we still do it anyway, for the sake of keeping other fans and ourselves updated with what our favourite stars are up to.  Apart from updating fans with news and information about the artists, fanclub admins also arrange preorders of the artists' albums and official merchandises, imported directly from South Korea (in the case of K-pop fanclubs).  Fanclub admins also organise meet-ups or gatherings with other fans in the same area or country.  Another important role of fanclub admins is to become the liaison personnel between fans and the organiser whenever there is an event (concert, showcase, fanmeet, festival, etc.) going on in the country, involving the relevant artists.  Not all organisers include fanclubs as part of their public relations (PR) engine.  Some organisers prefer to rely solely on their own PR team when it comes to promoting a specific event.  In my opinion, it's a wise move for organisers to directly involve fanclubs, especially official ones, in their marketing plan.  This is because existing members or followers of fanclubs already feel bonded and comfortable with the particular fanclubs, therefore, the organisers can reach out to the fans in a more effective and relevant manner.  Of course, constant, professional communication between the organisers and the fanclubs is essential in order for this to work.

So, what are the valuable things that I have learned so far as a fanclub admin?
1) Other things are first, not fanclub.
This may sound ironic after what I've written about how it's such a joyful thing for me to become a fangirl.  Don't get me wrong.  I really do enjoy being a fangirl even if it can get costly at times.  Despite that, my sanity ensures that I get my priorities straight.  Other matters like study, career, family and friends, are still above this whole fandom thingy.  There are times for work, there are times for winding down, and there are times for fangirling.  That's why being a fangirl (or a fanboy) is such a special thing.  As much as fans give their all in cheering for their favourite stars,  we also keep ourselves grounded by making an effort in other non-fandom things.  It's important for fans to distinguish between being truly passionate and being carried away.

2) Don't ever jump into conclusion.
I really don't favour those who always jump into conclusion.  I, myself, am constantly trying to become someone who doesn't jump into conclusion until I'm very sure of a certain matter.  A fandom-related example of this is when there's a rumour circulating about a particular artist, fan, or company.  Because of the advanced technology and telecommunication system these days, a mere word of mouth can be known by the whole world in a blink of an eye.  Sometimes, that certain "word of mouth" is pretty controversial and shocking.  It's normal to feel surprised or dumbfounded when we hear or read something, but until it's official and confirmed by relevant individuals, it remains as a rumour.  It can be a little complicated, though.  Sometimes, even 'official' statements aren't that genuine.  Hmm...

3) Guide others the way you would want to be guided.
Fanclub admins don't know everything.  A lot of fanclub admins know a lot of things, but still, we don't know everything.  There are things that we may not be aware of.  That's why we do our little researches and information-digging from time to time.  We certainly don't want to intentionally spread wrong information.  Even though there may be things that we may not know much about yet, it's still important to do our best to be as informative and helpful as possible.  Different fans have different level of awareness towards certain matters.  Some are quite independent and don't ask much unless very necessary.  On the other flip of the coin, some are a little bit clueless (which isn't really a bad thing) and tend to ask more questions even if the same questions have been asked and responded to before.  If time is available, make an effort to properly answer the questions, even repeated ones.  Fans just want to know.  So, let them know.

4) Always be transparent. 
Being transparent means that you don't hide anything unless it's very personal and it's none of other people's business.  If there's a piece of information that can possibly be helpful or interesting to fans, share it.  It's good to be specific enough so that the possibility of a misunderstanding can be minimised.

5) Sometimes, just let antis be antis.  
Dealing with antis (or haters or skeptics or trolls) is one of the things that can very much be a pain in the neck for fans.  So, what should we do about it?  We simply don't deal with these creatures individuals.  I know that it's sometimes very difficult to just ignore the hateful remarks that some antis make out of their childish dissatisfaction or jealousy(?).  Just be strong and believe in the artists that you're supporting.  Occasional rebuts on what the antis have to say may be necessary, but stay calm and rational in your arguments.  Also, know when to stop and just walk away.  Antis really aren't worth our precious time.

Forever Young

~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~

"Let no one despise you for your youth,
but set the believers an example
in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." 

(1 Timothy 4:12)

~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~

A few weeks ago, I turned another year older.

You know how friends or family members sometimes playfully tease you on your birthday, just to highlight the fact that you're getting OLDer?  That's normal and there's no harm intended in the teasing.  ^^

I face this too.  In addition to that, I also face something almost in contrary to this matter.  *Ironic, ironic*  Those who aren't aware of my actual age, as well as those who already know me well, mostly do not believe me when I 'declare' how old I currently am.  From my past experiences so far, a lot of them usually guessed that I should be about 3, 4, or 5 years younger than my real age.  *Hey, they said so, okay. :3*

It's probably because of the combination of my petite figure, erm...babyface(?) look, and sometimes child-like personality.  LOL~  I don't  know...that's just my wild guess.

Anyway...
My point is, regardless of how we appear to look like, be it younger than our age or more matured than our age, it's sometimes out of our control.  Make-up, hairstyle, and fashion style can change that but they are all temporary.  You are who you are.  Remember that what's more important is what you have to offer, coming from within you - hardwork, sincerity, kindness, passion, etc.

So, be grateful of however you may look like (as long as it's presentable enough for specific occasions).  Focus more on your inner values.  Chewah~

What does that make me?

I'm writing this post because there's something related to my personal interests (fandoms, to be exact) that has been bugging me. Well, it's more like something that some other people have done or portrayed. I'll be as fair as I can in elaborating and I'll keep the anonymity of the individuals or groups of people involved, but each event or incident that I'm going to mention here is for real.  

So....my friends and family would most definitely know that I enjoy learning foreign cultures, particularly Asian cultures. To be even more specific, I absolutely adore Japanese and Korean cultures. Yes, both Japanese and Korean. Now, don't jump into conclusion and assume that I don't have the slightest care about my own culture or country. If you think so, man, you're dead wrong! I am proud of my country and constantly pray for its continuous growth and harmony. How can I easily turn my back on a land that has given me a chance to grow up in a peaceful and welcoming surrounding? Therefore, my interest in other cultures doesn't change my root as a Malaysian. It's simply that my interest (or you may call it hobby) is to learn about other cultures, especially in terms of languages and lifestyles. I see it as a positive thing as it helps me to expand the horizon of my knowledge and awareness on other parts of the world. It prevents me from being 'katak di bawah tempurung' [Literally: a frog under a coconut shell; Interpretation: someone who has absolutely no idea about the things outside of his or her own secluded space].  

And let me tell you here that the hardest part about learning foreign cultures is not the unfamiliarity of the foreign cultures. The real hardest part to me is being bugged by skeptics or antis. Some people are just full of hatred, aren't they? Even worse, they choose to grow that hatred inside of them and eventually show it out to the public. How uncivilised! You might say that if the antis are being a pain in the neck, why not just ignore them? That's exactly what I had been doing in the beginning. I figured that those antis are definitely not worthy of my time and attention. But I'm sorry, my patience isn't as high as Mount Everest or as wide as the Atlantic Ocean. I can tolerate some rudeness or unprofessionalism but not when it's too much.  

Now, let's get to the specific incidents that I would like to address, shall we?  

--Haters at Public Performances--
It's usually not an issue at all when the event is by only one act or many acts from the same genre. In fact, you can see the warmth and unity among the audience members at this kind of event. The problem arises when it's an event with a mixture of acts, genres, or places of origin. Let me ask you this. What is the original purpose of going to a concert? The most sensible answer would be to enjoy the show, right? That's why organisers hold concerts in the first place. It's for music lovers to unwind and see the performers live on stage. It's really unfortunate to see how low someone can act just to express his or her dissatisfaction towards others who haven't even done anything wrong. If someone doesn't like a particular performance during a concert, that someone should just clench his/ her fist and bear it throughout the performance. But to 'passionately' shout "boo~", show thumbs-down, throw garbage or other items towards the stage, all WHILE the artists concerned are performing...that's just so thoughtless and childish. Nobody forces anyone to like every performer. Just keep your basic manner. It's as simple as that.  

--Antis on Social Network--
This group of people are, without a doubt, attention-seekers. First of all, being an anti (or hater) is already a negative thing that shows one's narrow state of mind. Please be clear here that antis are those who truly HATE someone or something, not those who harmlessly DISLIKE them. Secondly, these people, knowingly or unknowingly, call out for attention from the whole world by bashing or insulting whoever they're dissatisfied with on social network. Sadly, some of my own acquaintances are like this. I've seen posts and comments like [*rephrased/ translated but with the same meanings*] "...plastic idols...", "...go back to your own place...", "...waste of money and time...", "...delusional fans...", "...pretty faces with no talents...", etc. Those are pretty accusative and presumptive words, don't you think? Shame on those who have stated such things on public platforms! What bugs me more is that all of the negative comments are proclaimed based on the antis' substance-less ASSUMPTIONS only. I mean, have you actually checked out their full performances, trainings, and documentaries? Have you done your research on what they had to face (and for how long) before debuting? Have you tried to see and greet them in person? Have you surveyed why their fans support them so much? And...do you even know who they really are? (i) Expressing your honest opinions and (ii) recklessly mortifying others are two different things that every mentally sane human should be able to differentiate.  

--Disfavouritism by Influential Personalities--
Influential personalities refer to individuals who have regular followers, supporters, or fanbase. They can be celebrities, socialites, gurus, bloggers, and such. What these people have that is so valuable is power in their words and actions. The public listens to what they have to say and watches their actions. Good things are great to share but controversial and sensitive things are better discussed in more private platforms. Just because you're angered by certain incidents, that doesn't give you the right to forcefully retaliate against specific people (or country?). Are you expecting your followers to blindly fight your fight along with you? It's just so unprofessional to go as far as badmouthing others even if there have been past incidents that may have made you feel irritated or upset. You have good intentions, I believe so. But how you choose to act or react mirrors your depth of rationality and your heart's true content. Especially when you're a public figure, your simple words or actions can greatly influence other people, particularly the youngsters. So, please please please be more aware of your choice of words before attacking a particular person or group of people.  

It's tiring to keep telling my side of the story with regards to the assumptions and perceptions made by non-fans of particular individuals or groups. I usually let it slip but when someone is far off track, I feel that I have to do something in my attempt to save his/ her soul from further demonic-like sentiments. *Dramatic word-usage mode, on!*  

If haters at public performances act the way they do with the so-called reason to protect their country's own music industry, what does that make me? Am I a liar when I say that I love my country even though I'm a big fan of J-pop and K-pop?  

If antis on social network claim that so-and-so is not worthy of our support, what does that make me? Am I oblivious for finding joy and comfort in foreign entertainment?  

If influential personalities who are supposed to be the wise and knowledgeable ones show obvious disfavouritism towards a certain genre or even culture, what does that make me? Am I the foolish one for liking to learn a foreign culture, left alone at least two foreign cultures?  

Just stop with the aggressive or passive-aggressive hating and choose the more mature actions. I like what I like, you like what you like. I don't ever want to put you down for what you're interested in, so please don't bring negativity into the picture. Just stay away from the subject matter if all you have to say is your spirit-breaking, fun-killing, conclusion-jumping opinion. Don't rain on someone else's parade. It's shallow. You're better than that.  

Peace, lovely world! ♥

I Don't Want to Hate

It's not a fiction that I'm a CUBE stan, so I have soft spots for talents from CUBE. However, due to limited financial support, my main focus when it comes to buying albums or merchandises is BTOBEAST (BEAST + BTOB). Every now and then, I spend some money on 4Minute, G.NA, and A Pink (from A CUBE, a separate company from CUBE but is a family of CUBE).

Despite all that, I do support other singers even though they're not from CUBE but my support towards those other singers won't even come close to my passion towards CUBE talents. I understand that the other singers have their fans, so I should tolerate it whenever the other fans are getting all excited about their favourites. They may share updates, scream frantically, praise endlessly, etc. Those normal things, I can tolerate. I do the same too. But there are times when I feel a little bit irritable. I know I should just let those fans be but their constant rantings can be a little too much for me. One or two consecutive times is okay but that's not the case sometimes.  Some of them used to chant for the same singers as I do but it seems like they've had a change of heart. It's alright to expand your list of favourites because it shows that you're growing as music lovers. However, to forget about a group of singers that you used to admire and replace then with new ones from the same industry/genre is just.....unfaithful. Fine, maybe you were figuring things out in the beginning before discovering what you really like. Just try not to make it so obvious. It can get annoying. But I guess it's not a big deal. I think I have this sense of loyalty up to the point that I feel irritated by those who used to be in the same fandom as me but have taken a different path. I'm fine if they just keep silent and move on but when they spazzingly talk about their "new love" so publicly so many times in a row, I just...can't.. I don't hate it but I just don't like it, you know?

I never intend to dislike any fandom or group or solo act, so I'll just stay away from them. They have their fans behind them, and I'll stay by my favourites' sides. It's all good. :) Everyone, 화이팅!

My "Clans" and the Little Stories in Between

I attended a private kindergarten for a year. ["Private" as in "non-government", not exactly "exclusive" like some schools in J-dramas or K-dramas that I used to watch. My mind keeps thinking of the elite all-girl high school in J-drama "Mei-chan no Shitsuji" (Mei's Butler) where every girl from very rich or influential families attend special classes while being carefully taken care of by their respective mostly-cute young butlers.] Thinking about it now, I can't seem to recall much of what I've learnt from that one year in kindergarten. I remember playing with clay, I remember practising for year-end performance, I remember being slow in learning Mandarin and there was this Chinese boy (classmate) whom the teacher assigned to help me with my Mandarin workbook because I was crying after not being able to answer some of the questions. Yes, I remember that particular part. ㅜㅜ I remember how the helpful boy tried to teach me what was in the workbook. He explained and showed how to write the (simple) Chinese characters. He didn't give up easily even though I wasn't catching up right away. And mind you, we were as young as 5 to 6 years old at that time. I feel really bad for not remembering his name now. He probably forgot mine too. I hope he did, so that he doesn't remember me as the hopeless crybaby who was bad at Mandarin in kindergarten. >< I thought of mentioning about that boy here just to acknowledge the good deed that he had done back then (even if it was the teacher who ordered him to do so). My point is, it's nice to have someone giving you a hand or simply keeping you accompanied throughout your life. Being on your own is necessary at times but having your friends around brings extra joy and enlightment especially when your life is like a roller-coaster of events or happenings. It doesn't matter how old you are. Friends are special and those who are close enough with you make it feel like you're having your own little "clan". Or you can call it your "gang", in a more relatable manner. So, when I was in kindergarten,  my little clan consisted of my cousin Mariana and me. I was really close with her (and still am) as she attended the same kindergarten with me and we ended up in the same class even though she's a year younger than me. Sorry for acting up or being more child-like back then, okay Na? You've been very patient and kind. ^^

In my elementary school years, I went to a school not far from grandma's area. My parents and I moved in to live with grandma and uncles because my parents were transferred somewhere that required them to commute to and fro on daily basis. A simple house was actually provided for them to live near the school but they didn't permanently live there. Sometimes, they brought me along to stay overnight at the house near the school they were teaching at. OMG I just remembered this one thing! There was a band performing at my parents' school for an event one evening. The band members were youngsters not too much older than me. The lead vocalist was a foreigner (or mix-blood, IDK). At that time, I thought he was cute but never approached him. *Typical young girl thingy* xD At that school, which was (and still is, I think) located next to a village, everyone was getting along well with each other. Students, teachers, parents...they all knew each other. They even knew me since my parents were working there. Even years after my parents moved to different places, we still went to visit the village during festive seasons. Well, we stopped doing that quite some time ago because of the hustle bustle of city life that we got ourselves into. My school at that time (the one near grandma's area) was built on a hill. I wonder how it looks like right now. Was I particularly close to anyone in the three years that I was at that school? I don't remember. Probably I was too busy doing tasks as the class monitor. I was one of the faces that the teachers in the teachers' room saw very often. Having to carry such responsibility at such young age made me forget to be closer to any of my classmates or schoolmates. 흐 But I remember this boy (classmate) who always took away my cute sharperners and never returned them. Laz, why were you so mean to me?! ㅜㅜ The funny thing was, not too long ago, we 'met' on Facebook and he introduced himself to me as the boy who often stole my stationeries during elementary school. LOL.. There was also this boy (another classmate) who sneaked a love note into my school bag! A freaking love note! Why is it hard to get such gesture these days?!! It's not that hard to do it, okay guys! Screw the high-tech phones or computers! You can sway the girls with simple yet sincere actions. >< Okay, back to the love note boy. I remember his name but I better respect his right by not revealing it here. LOL.. Sadly, I don't remember exactly what he wrote on that note. I also don't know what happened to the note. OMG did mom or dad or grandma see that note but never told me that they did? Not that it's a big of a deal but it would still feel awkward. xD So, to cut the story short, it didn't work out between us (What the heck! xD Seriously, I feel like slapping myself right now for using such sentence and tone to talk about this petty yet worth-mentioning thingy. Just bear with me, okay? Don't take it too seriously.) because I had to move to a different town and a different school the next school semester. Maybe we weren't meant to be. That's why God worked his plan to keep us apart. Okay, I really should give myself a slap for sounding so modramatic. We were just 9 at that time! 9! Not 19! Not 29! Just 9! What the... But you know I'm just trying to be lively and transparent in this post here, right? Bukan selalu pun. ^^

My other three years of elementary school were spent in a school within a housing area in town. So, is that like the suburban area in American towns? IDK. I was a prefect in those years. Mom was a teacher in the same school. We moved to that school at the same time. So, I know what it's like to have own mom teaching at the same school, okay? It wasn't that bad but I had my challenges. LOL.. Since the school was a walking distance away from my house, I usually walked on foot when I was going back home. In the morning, dad would send mom and me to school on his way to work. In those years, I was close with a friend named Angela. Her house was located at the same lane as me back then, so we often walked back home together and hung out together. I think she still lives at the same house. It was me who always moved here and there. Now, Angela is happily married and has a son (or is it two sons already? orz). She's one hot mama now. :D And then there's me.... Am I left behind? Will I end up as a boring loner? Where did I go wrong? Okay okay...being dramatic again. xD No wonder my sis calls me a drama queen. I kind of am. Kind of. Apart from Angela, I also hung out often with Sylvia, Sara, and ___ (Oh my! I forgot the name of one of my childhood friends! Why can't I remember? The two of us even went to the same matriculation college. ㅠㅠ Forgive me.) whose houses were also at the same lane as mine but they went to different schools. We would get together after school to play ting-ting or cops-and-criminals or hen-and-chicks or batu seremban or "zero point" (OMG I miss this game!) with other kids, if I weren't playing Mario video game at home instead. As for those whose houses were not at the same lane or housing park, I was pretty close with Grace and Felicitys (I knew two girls whose names are Felicity M and Felicity A.) Once, Angela and I stopped by at Felicity A's house after school instead of going straight home. We spent a couple of hours there till my parents became worried sick and searched for me around our neighbourhood. That time, it was hard to contact parents at home since I didn't have a cellphone. But I could have just called using my friend's house phone, right? -.- There was another time when a few of us were late to our school's cleaning activity only because we were baking cookies that didn't come out right. *Sigh* The young and foolish us were so confident that we would be able to pull it off in time. Then, Felicity A's older sister brought us back to reality by telling us that it would need longer time than we had to bake the cookies. Our teachers and classmates who heard about our silly story kept teasing us by asking for the cookies that were never successfully baked. ㅜㅜ

After completing a total of six years in elementary school, I went to a secondary school that was different than the school which I would be automatically placed in based on my elementary school. So, another goodbye to classmates/ schoolmates. I sure moved a lot. In my second and third years, I was the only non-Chinese in the class. It was pretty cool to be the only one (in a way) even though I would be lost when they all spoke in Chinese and I couldn't catch it. And some of you may think that I would be good in common Chinese phrases or sentences since a lot of my friends are Chinese, but I never bother to learn from them. They did teach me some words but I couldn't improve much as I was preoccupied as their almighty class monitor for a couple of years. During my secondary school years, I was close with Melissa, Stella, Sharina, and Catherine. Melissa was the one whom I got close to as we sat next to each other in class for a year. We have the same native language but we mostly communicated in local Malay language. Stella too has the same native language as me. In our matriculation year before university, the two of us became closer when we happened to go to the same institution. Melissa also went to the same matriculation college but she stopped to pursue her diploma at a different institution. Sharina and I became close when we both were fans of Westlife. She even gave me Westlife VCD and poster for my birthday. Oh, Sharina also went to the same matriculation college as I did but we didn't meet up so often in matriculation. Catherine and I took Accounting as an extra subject and we went to tuition for that subject because we weren't taught that subject in school as we were Science stream students. So, we had to learn on our own and we learned it for one year instead of two because we finalised our subjects only a year before the big exam. One of the memorable happenings during my secondary school years was when my classmates held a birthday celebration for me at Pizza Hut. EiChi, a dear friend who is very talented in arts, won a Pizza Hut meal package. She didn't know how else to make use of that package, so she discussed with my other classmates and decided to throw me a birthday celebration. How thoughtful! Another memorable happening was at the end of our final year in secondary school. I planned a Christmas get-together at home with the permission of my parents. BTW, we just quite recently moved to our current house at that time. Like I said, I moved quite often. I prepared gifts for all of them who came. I even made fruit jellies myself as their desserts. Some of them came with gifts. For me! Oh, I just remembered something! That evening, I asked all of them to bring something from home to put in our time capsule (which was a box, actually). You know what? I still keep the time capsule and the chain around it is still intact. When are we going to open it up, you guys? We never had a proper reunion. Some of you are now working, some are still studying, some are overseas....we're all scattered around the globe. Tell me if any of you are already at a different planet, kay? *Lame joke*

After secondary school, I went for a one-year matriculation programme. It was my first time being away from home to study. I lived in a dorm with three other roommates. Coincidentally, one of my roommates was my secondary school classmate. I was glad to have kind and fun roommates. Phyllis, Fifa, Fathiah, and I went for outings together sometimes. One of my favourite things to do is watching movies or dramas with Fifa. We would squeal or sulk while watching. Oh right, Fathiah, the youngest of us four roommates, had just gotten married not a long time ago. Remember Stella, my friend from secondary school? More than anyone, I spent my weekends with her the most. Even though we were placed in different lecture groups, thus different tutorial groups, I went to the church and mall with her regularly. We even booked the same flights almost all the time.

I'm now pursuing my bachelor degree in university. At first, I was a student of Faculty of Medicine and Health Science. I made good friends with the Medicine and Nursing students there. In my first year there, I stayed at the dorm even though my house was about 15 minutes away by car (minus traffic jam). There was this group of friends I was very close with. Another friend jokingly called us "buah-buahan" because the seven of us together reminded him of "buah-buahan tempatan" (local fruits) since five of us are locals from the state our university is at and the other two are non-Chinese-like Malaysian Chinese. Do you get it? xD Later on, we were known as "unifruit". I miss the time when Valerie, Rebecca, Chien, Joannes, Calvin, Ibi, and I had our days or nights out. We also won first place in a group activity during our batch's trip to a beach some time ago. We rarely hang out now because of our different schedules and routines. I wish to have a meet-up with them soon. After two years at the Faculty of Medicine and Health Science, I had to experience what I deem as the most uncertain and confusing period of my life so far. A lot of study-related things were playing in my poor head and I felt so distressed that I didn't want to get out of bed for days. It was no fun at all. After consulting some individuals, I obtained the help from my original faculty to transfer me to a different faculty. It also meant that I would no longer be receiving scholarship from a government-linked association. I'm telling you, I then realised how considerably "rich" I was while being a scholar. xD So, my new faculty is Faculty of Economics and Business. A 180° change, you say? It sure was. And I met some wonderful friends. All my coursemates are fine but I'm especially close with five kumangs by the name of Marcella, Rachel, Victoria, Martina, and Mariam. It was like we were programmed to find each other. This is part of Your plans, isn't it, God? From time to time, I recall the good times I've shared with my friends. They're precious.

Okay, I'll stop right here. This is longer than I planned it to be. You did read all of it, didn't you? You better! :D

Things that Less than a Quarter of the People I Know Already Knew

1) I prefer my toasted breads almost burnt, BBQ meats almost burnt, sausages almost burnt, nuggets almost burnt, instant noodle undercooked, french fries undercooked,...that's all I can think of for now.

2) Sometimes, I sleep on my bed with my head on the supposed-to-be-feet side of the bed simply because it feels strangely more comfortable.

3) I keep watching horror movies even though I'm honestly a scaredy cat.

4) One of my ways to prevent myself from spending money on attractive but unnecessary things is by looking at the item(s) or holding the item(s) at the shop for a while until I hopefully lose interest in it/ them and walk away after that.

5) I'm convinced that if I were properly trained since young, I could have been a very successful athlete or dancer, considering my achievements in the mentioned fields as a child in the past.

6) Before I got caught up in my J-pop and K-pop fandoms years ago, I passionately rooted for Westlife, The Click 5, and Jonas Brothers by diligently buying and collecting their cassettes, CDs, VCDs, and posters.

7) When I'm not particularly impressed by how I look while getting ready at a certain time, I'll shamelessly blame the mirror or lighting for being low in quality.

8) I don't cook, bake, or prepare a meal often but once I do it, I always pay extra attention on the food presentation apart from its edibility.

9) My style of maintaining my room is more towards spring-cleaning than regular reorganisation.

10) I used to be hospitalised and have my leg casted due to an incident with a motorcycle exhaust when I was in my first year of elementary school.

I Resorted to Pain Killers

Quoting the chorus of BTOB's 'Secret (Insane)', ♪♫ You make me go insane.. You give me so much PAIN..

That was pretty much how I've been feeling these past few days.  It's a physiological matter, though.  So, I couldn't have avoided it no matter how much I wanted to.

Before you get the wrong idea and freak out, thinking that I'm really going insane due to having to deal with so much pain, let me clarify it.

Since Monday morning, I've been having abdominal cramps at my lower abdomen.  At first, it didn't really bother me because I thought it was just the time of the month (which should be kind of strange since I've just had it literally two weeks ago).  As the sullen Monday morning went on and I was in the middle of one of my classes, the cramping felt more intense and lasting.  It made me feel so uncomfortable that I decided not to attend the afternoon class.  When I got home, I rested at the couch for a while.  Ironically, lying down made me feel more uncomfortable.  So, I kept changing my position but it came to no avail.  I started to worry.....not due to the fact that I'm in physical pain, but I was worried that I might not be able to get my piling assignments and mid-term revisions done.  *Sigh*  Life is hard, you know.  I had several glasses of warm water with the hope that the warmth would make my abdominal muscles more relaxed, resulting in less pain.  Sadly, I couldn't feel any changes, or even if that helped a little bit, I might not have noticed it because the pain was just too distracting.  So, the rest of the day went on with me battling against the cramps that I kept thinking would go away voluntarily.  It was already night time and I wasn't feeling any better.  Earlier on, when I was texting a friend (or was it a family member?), I faced a difficulty because my hands were slightly shaking.  Must be the pain.  It was frustrating.  I decided to call it a day even though the night was still young (in my normal personal time zone) since there was nothing much that I could do even if I stayed awake.  Before hitting my lovely bed, I consumed Panadol Menstrual, pink-coloured pain killer pills that were readily available in the fridge.  I wasn't sure if taking up those pills would ease the pain, but I thought why not.  After that, I went to bed.....but I didn't really sleep.  I couldn't!  As mentioned earlier, I felt more uncomfortable when lying down.  How was I supposed to rest if I couldn't even lie down?!!  I kept moving here and there to find a close-to-comfortable position.  At one point, I found that sitting on the floor with my head on the bed (like it's a table) was more comfortable than lying on the bed itself.

In the morning, I woke up from my not-really sleep and went downstairs at around 5.  The first thing I did was taking up more pain killers.  No worries, I didn't over-consume them by exceeding the suggested dosage.  After that, I went back to bed because it wasn't my turn to take bath and get ready yet.  Time passed by and I couldn't even get up because of the cramps.  I then informed my friends that I would be staying at home for that day (yesterday).  Yesterday went on pretty much the same as the day before.  I couldn't do anything productive and was struggling with the feeling of discomfort and pain that came around uninvited every now and then.  If it were a person, I would totally condemn it and curse it with words that I don't even understand.  Sorry, it wasn't me, it was my painful soul talking (or writing?).  I had a warm glass of Milo to comfort my tummy.  Even though it was temporary, at least it worked for that moment.

This morning, I was determined to attend the class.  It was just one class, anyway.  I felt a little better.  To make sure that I wouldn't be bothered off-guard by the cramps (Imagine getting cramps attack while driving....not fun!), I took a couple of pain killers after my light breakfast.  I managed to go through the morning with just slight feeling of heaviness and aching in my abdomen.  Now I'm home.  I'm starting to feel that the effect of the pain killers is wearing off bit by bit.  Please don't make me take up more~  I have mid-term tests and assignments to get done this week!  Have mercy~

♪♫ Touch by touch~ ♪♫ 한국을 방문 싶습니다.

나는 대회에 참가 해요. 지원하시기 바랍니다.

Watch this video and be entertained! :)
I'd like to apologise in advance if it doesn't reach your expectation. *Bow*  But please give it a chance.  Thank you!

You can watch it here too!

 

I intentionally didn't upload this on my personal YouTube account to avoid confusions while the contest period is still on.  Maybe someday I will upload it.

Love~~

Considering how exhausting it was, it turned out just fine.

now that the outcome has been unveiled and it isn't as bad as my worst-case-and-just-in-case analytical expectation, i can at least be happy with it and move on.  still, i'm not changing my comments about how tough it has been.  the whole thing was really challenging.  i'll strive harder and show a better side of me in the future.

thank you to all who have been generously giving help, guidance, and support.  know that your good deeds are always remembered.  i humbly bow down to say "thank you".  ❤

rasa kedak bagi speech lekak menang Grammy Award jak eh.  sekali sekala bah nak.

prayers do get granted if you put in your sincere effort in realising them.

A Gorgeously Maroon Evening

family, relatives, and friends took the time to attend a reception dinner that was held in a hotel's event room on the 20th.  it was the wedding reception for an uncle of mine.  the theme for that evening was maroon.  maroon's a chic colour, don't you think?  it's close to red, but more classy.  it's also close to pink, but richer.

each one of our family members had our own maroon outfit.  days before the dinner, i even jokingly said that we would be wearing our "uniforms" for that evening.  xD  oh..mom even bought new pairs of heels that have REALLY long and thin heels.  no joke!

we arrived at the venue of the dinner about an hour earlier than the first set of guests since there were some arrangements that needed to be done.  let me tell you a little secret.  i was a little cranky and agitated right before we departed.  you wanna know why?  my dress didn't perfectly fit me when i put it on.  i had to adjust it by using pins.  to make it worse, i had a very small amount of time to do that!  so, i was in a rush and might have cursed in the process.  -.-'  i even thought of Kang Gary's "stress~~!" tagline at that time.  xD  you know Kang Gary, a hip-hop singer from a South Korean duo unit named LeeSsang, and he's also a member of a game show called Running Man?  i eventually managed to suck it up and went on with the evening without much stress.  ^^v

when i saw the servers in their uniforms in the event room, i instantly thought of the time i was working part-time at Hilton hotel.  it made me smile for a while.  during the food presentation where the first course was brought out by the servers with background music being played, i automatically clapped and cheered.  my sister noticed and uttered "[translated] i know that you know how the waiters and waitresses feel (doing that job).".  :D

when the event ended and we were on our way to get out of the event room, i waited for the others by myself near a pillar with a mirror on it.  out of the blue, there was a guy who came to me, smiled, shook my hand, and bid "good night~ ♥".  after i said "good night" back, he walked away.  i didn't know who he was, still don't, but i have a rough idea on where he's from.

[note: i was a little hesitant about putting this in this blog post because i don't want anyone to misunderstand.  but i just thought that it was thoughtful and sweet, so i decided to put it here.  :) ]

congratulations, uncle and aunt!  may blessings and joy overflow your days forever~

*In Dilemma* I Keep Changing My Mind

it has been quite some time since the last time i had my hair styled at the salon. i just didn't have the time and willpower to do so.  now that i'm a little bit free from university commitments, i can pay a visit to the salon at ease.  the problem is : - i can't decide how i want my hair to be done this time.  my current hairstyle is long, wavy hair with side-swept fringe.

i have two choices in mind : -
(i) to straighten and trim it into layers, or

*example*

(ii) to re-curl it into slightly finer curls than the present style.

*example*

i could usually make up my mind about this matter but this time, it's just a little more complicated.  *sigh*  hear me out, okay?  i love the curls that i got from the digital curler at the salon but i also have the urge to change my style to a more obviously different look.  do you get what i mean?  so, i'm in a dilemma.  one thing for sure is that i'd like to keep the length of my hair.  so, there won't be any major haircut.  mom will bring me to the salon tomorrow afternoon.  i've been thinking about it these past few days.  plus, i'll be attending my uncle's wedding reception this coming weekend.  that's not the reason i'm changing my hairstyle, though.  just a coincidence.

i need to decide!

「たのしかった コンサートを みました。」

what i did for one of my Japanese Language assessments.
a sharing of my experience in attending a concert-like event.
simple...but it came from my heart~

link to my actual fan account --> http://pspage2nd.blogspot.com/2011/02/fan-account-digi-live-k-pop-party-2011.html

まだ いきてる かな. . .

my level of endurance is really being tested.  the same thing goes to some of you too, perhaps. work, school, or life itself can get pretty exhausting.  sometimes, there's no easy way when it comes to dealing with those tiring things in our life.  just remember to breathe in and breathe out, okay?

anyhow, this is my side of the story... chewah.. xD

it's not so much a story.  in fact, it's not even close to being a story.  haha..  just a list of the tiring-but-inevitable things that i currently need to face.

(1) commuting to-and-fro for classes four days a week (the early morning traffic makes it =.='.)

(2) remembering yet-to-be-familiar theories and formula for core and elective subjects

(3) attending one more (darn) softskill class

(4) revising Japanese Language for the purpose of assessments, exam, and daily life (it gets tougher for each lesson.  i'm not kidding.  still, it's fun!)

(5) completing seemingly never-ending assignments, with more than just satisfactory outcomes
(6) going to substitute classes that are usually held in the evening

(7) mid-term exam!  the nearest one is in two days!!  God, pour us with Your blessings and inner strength.

じゃあ...まいにち がんばります!  あきらめないよね.

"whatever you say.. whatever you do.. there will be good times waiting for you.."  so, endure the hard times!

berakit-rakit ke hulu,

berenang-renang ke tepian,

bersakit-sakit dahulu,

bersenang-senang kemudian

ada paham?? ^^v

Twenty-two

birthday yesterday~~

thank you very much to everyone (family members, relatives, friends, lecturers, former co-workers), for giving me warm wishes.  oh...and for singing me a birthday song.  thank you also to those who thought of me on my birthday even for just a millisecond.  ;)  i really am grateful for the wonderful people that i know so far.

before going to campus for classes

 a note (and money) from mom

had a little feast when i got back home 

 card and gift from family

my youngest sister made this card 

got a new blouse!

live well, lovesss~

In All Honesty, I'm Worried

from the very beginning, i've been preparing myself for a busier-than-before year.  this doesn't only concern my life as a student. so, don't get me wrong by narrowing it that way.  :)

to start...the core subjects that i'm currently taking are quite heavy in terms of workloads and weekly in-class learning hours.  to add to that, i'm also taking not one, but two elective subjects.  berani mati, nak?!  LOL  the reason for my decision to take up that many subjects this semester is to try to make the upcoming semesters free from subjects that aren't my core subjects.  typically, the difficulty level gets higher every semester.  i'm preparing myself for that too.

what's bugging me is the exhaustion that i often feel on weekdays when there are classes to attend.  it's normal to feel tired when you have to drive to and fro but this time, it seems like i'm even more tired that the previous semesters.  do you get what i mean?  it's not just physical exhaustion, but also mental exhaustion.  something seems to be bothering me.  the morning traffic jams might be one of the contributing causes.  i'm kind of used to  the traffic jams but the journey seems to be 1.5 times longer than before.  perhaps it's the route that i'm using that makes it longer.  i'm using a different route this semester for a valid reason.  :)  it's a logical route considering where i need to go to on my way to campus, but overall, it's actually a little further than what i'm used to.  i'm not sure if i can go on with it till whenever, though.  :/  you see, my house is considered a little far from the main road.  lorong (Stapok) selatan 11c2 oi~  dah la selatan bertentangan ngan utara, nombor 11, kakya c, sik cukup 11c, mok gik 11c2!  it's quite hidden for those who are not used to the area.  anyway...i've made a conclusion that i hate stopping at traffic lights (take note of the plural form.) more than roundabouts.  seriously.  going back home from campus is still okay but going to campus in the morning is a sore in the neck.  i've been late quite many times.  gomen ne, sensei to tomodachi.  shouganai kara.  :(  nasib bait lecturer setakat tok bait2...understanding (or just patient, probably).  i'm afraid that i might not be as lucky next semester.  who knows?

now, you would think that if the long journey is a problem, why don't i just depart earlier from home, right?  here's my answer to that.  every morning when i need to attend classes, i wake up about one and a half hour, if not two hours, before i depart from home.  iboh mok suruh bangun awal gik dari ya!  cukup la ya.  i need to wait for my turn to use the bathroom.  i'm the last one to have my shower.  the others need to depart earlier than me.  aih...apa gik semester depan ow...semua orang sesi pagi dah.  adoh..  when i'm ready, i'll then be on my way.  when you actually have to go through my routine, you'll know how it really feels like from my point of view.  bila pagi2 dah sikda mood gara2 mala jak stop2 kat jalan, ngan kadang2 ada kreta di depan nok agak slow (tapi sik boleh nak nganok sidak juak la.  berhati2 di jalan raya bah.  nang bena ya.), sampei jak kampus, kurang dah semangat mok dengar lecture.  nok polah gik ada sikit semangat ya pun sebab pikir mok balit lekak habis kelas untuk ari ya.  tambah gik mun kelas sampei petang.  mengalahkan orang keja kadang2.  haha..

so, it's kind of worrying me that i sometimes don't revise what i've learnt when i'm back home, particularly on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, so far.  i can't just rely on the other days, right?  makin tua kali dirik tok.  ya makin lelah.  tambah gik makin susah subjek sem tok.  masa kat jalan raya jak pun makin panjang.  bersyukur la ada hari nok sikda kelas dalam seminggu ya.

God, help me to be stronger and more patient each day.  let me find the best possible solution that will benefit not only me, but the people around me too.  bingung kadang2.  tapi apa2 pun, cuba cool jak ow.

Meet...the Fangirl

according to urbandictionary.com, a fangirl/ fanboy is defined as "a person who has a compulsive dedication to a video game series, anime series, and/ or music artist".  here, i would like to introduce to you, a fangirl that i happen to be close with.  ^^  i paid her a visit recently and snapped some photos of her possessions that give clear hints that she's such a fan.  i'm kind of a fangirl too, just so you know.


let the photos tell the story:

OMG..brilliant choice of K-pop group!  ;)  i love this group too!  is this fate~?? xD

she carries this picture in her clear file whenever she attends her classes.   yes, she's still a student.

this is another picture in another clear file.  same group..

a handfan ordered from hyun-seung.com, a South Korean fanclub for one of BEAST's members.

 

Yong Jun Hyung and Jang Hyun Seung~

BEAST (Korean pop) and Arashi (Japanese pop) button badges 

even her wallet has 'B2ST (BEAST)' on it! 

 before you enter her room, you'll be greeted by this 'Welcome to B2ST Airline' poster.

i guess this is kind of like a warning sign for non-fans or those sitting on fences.  like "enter at your own risk".  no biggy, though!

as you enter the room and close the door, there's another poster!

the poster has BEAST on it whereas the 2 little pictures on the right have Arashi on them. 

she's a fan of the CUBE family too!  no wonder we're such good friends!  like..seriously~ 

what a motivating study area! 

Arashi section~ (LOL...section?) 

ow...tok nya beli masa DiGi Live K-pop Party in KL Januari lepas.  aku pun ada tok. 

AMNOS section~

(AMNOS ya akronim surname sidak members dalam Arashi - Aiba-Matsumoto-Ninomiya-Ohno-Sakurai.  harap maklum.) 

members of Arashi.
BTW, 'arashi' literally means 'storm' in Japanese language.  ya la dalam sigek lagu sidak tok ada line "rollin' rollin' goin' rollin'.. we make storm!".  lagu 'Attack It!'.

her drama and movie DVDs/ VCDs collection...mostly Asian dramas or movies.

another box containing DVDs/ VCDs~ 

this box (bigger than the ones shown before) contains CDs/ DVDs/ VCDs of the artistes she supports.  some are actually imported items from Japan and South Korea, and others are Malaysian or Asian version of the albums.

she's also a huge fan of a British pop group, Westlife.  she has been a fan since she was 12, if i'm not mistaken.

okay okay.....so that 'fangirl friend' of mine is really me.  i knew it would be tough to fool some of my friends or family members/ relatives who already know my fandoms. :)  just wanted to fool around a little.  no harm done, right?  ^^v 


more pictures can be found at my So BEAST~~~! and "rollin' rollin' goin' rollin' we make storm.." photo albums on Facebook.

to whom it concerns, i still keep this UniFruit button badge too! ^^