God, heal our tired minds and hearts.

lately, whenever i feel drained, i find myself turning on my phone or the laptop, and ending up listening to U-KISS's 'Someday', among other songs in my playlist.  this song is like BEAST's 'Lights Go On Again' to me.  even though i don't completely understand the language (yet ;) ), i can relate to it.  even without knowing the English translation of the song, you would still be able to grasp the message.  English phrases like "everybody knows you tried", "everybody knows it's alright", "you get some right, you get some wrong", "the past is the past", "everybody wins sometimes, everybody knows you lose some" clearly give the idea that it's about facing hardships and feeling exhausted.  just don't give up!  i know it's easier said than done, but let's toughen up, okay?

"I followed my heart. I kept going even tho ppl think I m a fool. But I know wt God has prepared for me, and here I am STILL walking. :)" - Xander (@alexander_0729)

"You are created and fashioned by the Master. He made you just the way you are, and He has a specific and amazing plan for you." - Joel Osteen (@JoelOsteen)

take the message of this song to your heart.

the live version of the song, just to show you the gorgeous members of this group. :p

p/s: i still miss the former members, Xander and Ki Bum, though.  always...but let's move on, okay?

English translation:

sometimes hit, sometimes miss, it’s always like that

just do it right tomorrow

it’s just a small mistake

sometimes bottom, sometimes top, sometimes number one

getting first place

you can only go down anyway

without it, just live without it

it’s just greed you have before you win it...oh

your suffering now is a sign of your hard work

everybody knows you tried

everybody knows it’s alright

you get some right, you get some wrong

although tiring, there will be days to smile

when you fall down, when you get up

although tiring, there will be days to smile

eventually a day to smile will come

if it’s a separation, just let her go

she might show lying tears

maybe it wasn’t destiny

people who have to go, just go

sure being next to them, it might happen...oh

being tired right now is an evidence of your love

everybody knows you tried

everybody knows it’s alright

you get some right, you get some wrong

although tiring, there will be days to smile

when you fall down, when you get up

although tiring, there will be days to smile

eventually a day to smile will come

the past is the past...is the past

previous memories

it’s the past

the long painful days

the past is the past...is the past

the days to forget you

everybody wins sometimes

everybody knows you lose some

you get some right, you get some wrong

although tiring, there will be days to smile

when you fall down, when you get up

although tiring there will be days to smile

eventually a day to smile will come

eventually a day to smile will come

credit: kevinwookissme @ tumblr

We are Warriors, Fighting Our Own Battles.

life isn't easy, is it?  there may be moments when you slip through situations with ease, but there are also times when things seem a little too tough to handle.  "when the going gets tough, the tough gets going."  you've heard of this saying, haven't you?  so, let's hold on to it at times when challenges seem to be our faithful companions.  hard times come and go, but how we react to them is what matters more than the difficulties themselves.

problems may come to your door out of the blue, and people may annoy you (yes, this is sadly unavoidable).  just don't give in!  be strong inside.  you can't always make things go your way and you might not always meet pleasant people.  as long as you have the best intentions in whatever you do, you'll see better days ahead.

sometimes, you can't help but to feel down due to whatever reasons.  it's okay to feel a little down at times but don't stay down for long.  it's not worth it.  it's just not worth it.  God's right there watching over you.  He believes in you and knows that you're capable of going through each day.  keep asking for His guidance and blessing.  you'll be okay.  you're a warrior!

yup, it has been a crazy semester.

30-11-2011:

there was a blackout as i was diligently doing my assignment.  it turned out that the electricity cable at our house was too old and couldn't function anymore.  the workers from SESCO (Sarawak Electricity Supply Corporation) came over to change the cable.  everything went back to normal at 1:00 in the morning.  so, my work was delayed because of that.

Not a " B2UTY di bawah BEAST "

it's not a secret that i'm one of those fans who devotedly support an amazing group named BEAST.  this group is number one on my K-pop priority list, and it shall remain that way.  however, i'm not merely a B2UTY di bawah BEAST.  in case you're wondering what this means, there's a Malay saying that goes "katak di bawah tempurung".  in English, the direct translation would be "a frog under a coconut shell", if you must know. "katak" represents an individual, whereas "tempurung" represents the surrounding.  the meaning of this saying is that a person who never comes out of his or her own environment can't seem to see what the world around him or her has to offer, therefore this person has a very limited knowledge or awareness.

BEAST won 'Artist of the Year' at Melon Music Awards 2011.

so...the intelligent random me modified the saying and came up with my version of it. ^o^v i translate "B2UTY di bawah BEAST" as a B2UTY (BEAST's fan) who knows and accepts BEAST and only BEAST.  hence, "not a B2UTY di bawah BEAST" would refer to a B2UTY who doesn't only support BEAST, but is also aware of the existence and talents of other idols or artistes.  it's a good thing when a fan is loyally rooting for his or her number one group, but it turns into a bad thing if that fan develops a closed mentality that only lets him or her see the wonders of his or her favourite group by dissing other artistes.

in my case, i root for BEAST with all my heart.  i purchase their albums, order their merchandise, anticipate their comebacks, squeal over their sometimes adorable, sometimes stylish pictures, and scream my lungs out when i watch them perform.  despite all of that, i still root for other artistes (not as much as i root for BEAST, though ^^).  i don't need to like or love the other artistes, i just need to acknowledge their talents and presence.  i would stand against antis when i bump into any, not necessarily because i like the person or group that the antis are badmouthing about, but because i dislike the immature and rash ways the antis act.

if you're wondering who are in my list of "i-like-them-but-not-as-much-as-i-like-BEAST" K-pop artistes, here they are:


~ MBLAQ ~

my favourite member: Seung Ho

~ U-KISS ~

Then...

Now...

i have to say this:
i kind of like the old U-KISS better.  the two newer members are okay, but the former members, Xander and Ki Bum, grabbed my heart more.  i still don't understand why their agency HAD to remove them from the group.  it's a shame that they're now going their own ways and not with the rest of U-KISS' members.


my favourite (former) member: Xander

~ F.Cuz ~

my favourite member: LeeU

~ 4Minute ~

my favourite member: Ga Yoon

~ G.Na ~

~ A Pink ~

my favourite member: Bo Mi

~ Boy Friend ~

my favourite member: Min Woo (can he be my little brother?? please~~~)

When Katie and Kristi were Little Girls

SPOILER!
Paranormal Activity 3

yes, i've watched Paranormal Activity 3 at the cinema.  i was so stressed out by the assignments and tutorials that i had to deal with, that i HAD to put those things aside for a while.  it's not so much the toughness or difficulty level that makes those tasks feel like some sort of a burden (sorry, dear educators! :/), it's the abundance of the workload.  *sigh*  be strong, be strong!  so, i took a break from my assignments and tutorials.  my younger sister (not the youngest) and cousin tagged along.

as some of you might have already known, the three Paranormal Activity movies make use of first-person view and home video-like theme.  i see that this theme is getting more popular these days.  the rationale behind this is due to the fact that watching a movie from a first-person view makes the movie that much more believable and relatable.  before watching Paranormal Activity 3, i've read some reviews and comments about the movie.  some people like it ("like", not "love") and some dislike it.  they have their reasons, i'm sure.  despite whatever review i've read, i was still so determined to watch that movie!  i've been watching Paranormal Activity series since the first one came out.  i got hooked!  nang ngam bah movie ya ngan dirik, kali.  walaupun sebenarnya penakut!

for me, these are the top 4 scary bits in the third movie:

1) as Lisa, the babysitter, sat in the dining area after putting Katie and Kristi to sleep while Julie (Katie and Kristi's mom) and Dennis (Julie's boyfriend - Julie and her husband, who is Katie and Kristi's real dad, got a divorce or probably just a separation) went out, there was a white bed sheet in the figure of a child standing right behind her.  the reasonable thing to think of at that time was perhaps either Katie or Kristi was under the bed sheet and the girls just wanted to scare Lisa for fun.  then...the bed sheet got out of shape and fell flat on the floor, as if there was just air under it.  how did it stay in shape for so long, then??  and how did it manage to go behind Lisa at the dining area??  creepy~

2) Katie's, the older sister, blanket vigorously flew away from her towards the camera.  the poor girl was so scared and wanted to run to their mom downstairs, but that wasn't enough for the demon named Toby (which was claimed as Kristi's imaginary friend).  soon after that, Katie was dragged from her bed to the mini store in their room, feet first.  anyone would be petrified if that happens to oneself, right?  the poor girl tried to crawl back towards her younger sister.  we could hear Katie asking Kristie to help her, "Kristi, help me!!!" but Kristi could just watch her from her own bed, shocked.  as Katie almost reached her sister's bed, the demon dragged her again but Katie kept crawling away from the store.  along with some other things in the room, Katie's empty bed moved and rotated about 90 degrees.

3) Katie was chasing after Kristi, or maybe the girls were just running around playfully.  Kristi ran to the washroom in their bedroom and Katie was right behind her.  however, Katie bumped into something like an invisible wall.  that must be Toby, judging from Katie's fearful expression and action of slowly moving backward.  she tried to call out their mom but Julie was too busy having an argument with Dennis.  then, Katie stood still.  gosh, that part was suspenseful since we knew something would happen.  guess what happened?  Katie's long hair was pulled upward!  kowai~~!!

4) after talking to her mother through the phone in the kitchen, Julie (Katie and Kristi's mom) went to the door because she heard a knock.  no one was outside when she opened the door.  then, when she went back in, she noticed something strange in the kitchen.  all of the furniture and items that were supposed to be there (except for the cemented cabinets, sink, etc., that were attached to the floor) weren't there.  a few seconds later, all of those things crashed down from the ceiling!  weird and spooky!!!  she right away ran off and shouted, "Dennis!!  get the girls!  we're getting out of here!".  the four of them then went to Julie's mother's house.

some movie-goers complained that there were some parts in the trailer that weren't shown in the movie.  here's an article about it -- click me! --  there might be reasons to this.  trailers are trailers.  movies are movies.  yes, a trailer is supposed to give audience a clue on what's in the movie but let's not be feel so bumped if some parts in the trailer aren't in the finished and edited movie.  filmmakers must have their reasons.

Scientifically Supported - My Heart is Pure, I Symbolise Peace

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A psychologist says: “Don’t underestimate those who chase after Korean celebrities [it's not so much different for J-pop fans too, i believe.], their hearts are purer than anyone else, they love courageously, they will want to try their best to tackle difficult obstacles, the language and cultural barriers.  They symbolise peace ^^v, they don’t discriminate based on race, they befriend people with the same interest from different countries, they’re more passionate and warm than anyone else.  They don’t betray the ones they like easily, they are persistent and don’t give up easily.  They are stronger than anyone else on the inside, because when they are loving these Korean stars, they experience the setbacks they’ve never experienced in life.  They are all sensitive, easily touched to tears for a long time because of one incident.

Through investigation, most of them understand gratitude.  Their way of thinking is different from others, they don’t easily get carried away by love, they don’t harbour thoughts of doing bad things [for children, especially], and their criteria when looking for a partner is very high, other than looks, personality is more important, so the rate of marriage isn’t high, but neither is the rate of divorce [this isn't a bad thing, is it?  i suppose it's not.].

Their memory is very good, they can easily remember the Korean lyrics they don’t understand [if this is very much true, i should use this advantage for studying and stuff.], and their coordination skills are also very strong.  Most of them are cheerful, not the kind who keep to themselves.  Their will of determination is also very strong, they are able to persevere all the way just to buy something related to the celebrity they like [haha...true true~ to others, trying so hard just to get albums or merchandises might seem pointless.  it's actually part of the challenges fans need to face.].

In short, the way they think is vastly different from others, and their thoughts are not easy to understand.  Generally, only those who have similar interests are able to enter their world [this may be true when applied to young fans such as those who are in high school or younger.  but in my case, you can still be my friend even if you're not a J-pop or K-pop fan. ;)].

Source + Original Article: http://i52.tinypic.com/am9jba.png [now deleted :/]

Translations: sixbyul.tumblr.com

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so, i'm all of the things that have been underlined above?  xD  probably not all (probably yes, too), but i do agree with the article.  even though each fan is different (because no two or more individuals are exactly similar in this world), the general statements done by psychologists about fangirls and fanboys are somehow true.

"J-pop and K-pop are distinct but the fandoms are overlapping."

- nanaharhar.livejournal.com

yours truly,

I Live in a Different Time Zone

** i depart to campus and go back home almost daily just like my other friends.  i set my alarm at normal wake-up time just like others (though i usually wake up later than the time set on my alarm ^^v).  i have my meals at about the same time as the people around me.  (ignore the fact that i skip meals every now and then when i get a little too busy.)  i have my watch and cellphones set to the correct Malaysian Standard Time.

however...
there's one thing that doesn't seem to fit with the timing that i'm supposed to live in.  [--- i don't know how else to construct this sentence.  that's why it might sound odd and out-of-meaning.  how do you "live in" a "timing"?  see?  odd, right?  sorry! :/]  that one thing....is my sleep/ nap time.  in fact, i seem to interchange those two.  sleeping should take a longer time than taking a nap, right?  but i tend to have my nap longer than my usual sleeping time period.  not every day, but it happens a few times a week, especially on weekdays.  when i'm so occupied with assignments or tutorials or tasks, i either sleep very late or wake up very early.  it's not always due to having tasks.  sometimes, i sleep at the wee hour of the morning simply out of habit.  before i sleep, i usually read magazines, watch TV, listen to songs (and sing along as if no one can hear me at 2.00 AM - sorry, neighbours~  please don't move because of me.), or just sit on the couch or **lie on my bed without doing anything else for up to an hour.  yes, i'm weird!

as a current example, i just woke up from my supposed-to-be nap two hours ago and it's 4.26 AM as i'm typing this right now.  i went to my bedroom when i arrived home after class in the early evening.  i didn't plan to nap THAT long.  i didn't even have my dinner.  my family members did wake me up, or should i say, they did try to wake me up a few times, but their effort came to no avail.  i kept sleeping.  :D  once i woke up just now, i had my shower.  then, i ate the food that was left on the dining table for me.  now, i can't go to sleep when everyone else is sound asleep.  they'll wake up soon, perhaps.  what's more...it's the weekend!  why am i up early in the morning??  this is unacceptable!  xD  maybe i'll take this opportunity to complete my assignments, or part of them.

the bottom line is, i have an uncertain sleeping time.  it's not healthy, i know.  i'll try my best to care more about my sleeping time.  no promises, though.

sleep well, everyone!

extras:

** it's grammatically wrong to repeat the same word as the first word in a sentence for 4 times in a row.  my English teacher (when i was in school) once mentioned that the maximum number of time is 3, but it's safer to limit it to 2 times.  so, i'm using the wrong way here by repeating "i" four times straight.  since it's just a blog's post and not something formal, i just go ahead with it.

** do you know the difference between "lie on bed" and "lay on bed"?  to "lie on bed" means that one is being on the bed on his or her own effort and will.  to "lay ___ on bed" means to put something or someone else on the bed, and not oneself.  i get confused all the time, so i just want to get it clear.  :)

まだ いきてる かな. . .

my level of endurance is really being tested.  the same thing goes to some of you too, perhaps. work, school, or life itself can get pretty exhausting.  sometimes, there's no easy way when it comes to dealing with those tiring things in our life.  just remember to breathe in and breathe out, okay?

anyhow, this is my side of the story... chewah.. xD

it's not so much a story.  in fact, it's not even close to being a story.  haha..  just a list of the tiring-but-inevitable things that i currently need to face.

(1) commuting to-and-fro for classes four days a week (the early morning traffic makes it =.='.)

(2) remembering yet-to-be-familiar theories and formula for core and elective subjects

(3) attending one more (darn) softskill class

(4) revising Japanese Language for the purpose of assessments, exam, and daily life (it gets tougher for each lesson.  i'm not kidding.  still, it's fun!)

(5) completing seemingly never-ending assignments, with more than just satisfactory outcomes
(6) going to substitute classes that are usually held in the evening

(7) mid-term exam!  the nearest one is in two days!!  God, pour us with Your blessings and inner strength.

じゃあ...まいにち がんばります!  あきらめないよね.

"whatever you say.. whatever you do.. there will be good times waiting for you.."  so, endure the hard times!

berakit-rakit ke hulu,

berenang-renang ke tepian,

bersakit-sakit dahulu,

bersenang-senang kemudian

ada paham?? ^^v